Hope wasn't made for us

chapter 26- Because I Can

Ellie Pov

Chapter 26

As we walked i heard a Noice making me stop, some part of me hopped it was dean, i hated to say what I was feeling was normal, but I don't know what i was feeling. I felt empty without him, and sad when he's gone. No matter what he has said or done to me, it doesn't change the way I forgive him. And feel for him.

"Did you hear that?" I asked making Ryder stop, I listened closely to hear a vehicle approaching.

"Get down" i say and me and ryder hid behind a bush

I saw the car drive by, it was a woman,

"Maybe she could give us a lift" Ryder said making me try and stop him but he went to get the woman's attention.

I followed him as the woman stopped. She got out and she had been crying

"Can I help you?" the woman questioned, with puffy red eyes. i felt pity fill my body, it was a habit even if i hated when others took pity on me.

"Yes, can we happen to get a lift to......."Ryder stopped to read the map "the first city" he said giving me a glance then back at the woman.

"Lucky for you, I'm heading there" she said making me give her a soft smile.

Ryder took the back seat and i went to sit in front when i saw a baby in the back and Ryder and i shared a look.

"Oh wow" i say getting in

"Have you ever seen a baby before?" the lady questioned as she drove. i couldn't help but stutter.

"I just didn't- not in a long time" i started but she stopped me.

"Yeah yeah, babies die faster in a world like this because they are to loud......" the lady said making me sigh.

"Thats not what i meant" i say. i get where she's coming from. I remembered Kent and his wife. not everyone has hope.

"So, what's your business in the city?" she questioned, changing the topic.

"We are looking for someone" Ryder answered for me as i glanced at him.

"Oh, good luck, i heard they aren't letting people in, but i was hoping they would let my baby in, a better life, safer then in a car. always on the road. " she said making me look at the baby as the baby cooed at me. 

I've always wanted to be a mom, but I knew my chances weren't so good in a world like this.

Maybe since they weren't letting anyone in, that means Dean is out here somewhere. or he got in the city. he's smart, i know he would have found a way. i looked back at the baby. i couldn't help but get sad. that i may never have one. but i have Jennie. which is why i need to get her back. 

............................................................................

It was dark, and the lady said it wasn't long till we got there.

"What's your name" I start a conversion. i didn't like silence. i wanted to get my mind away from my thoughts. my nerves mostly. i was so close to finding Jennie. and now this whole thing with Dean is just a mess. i don't even know what I'm going to say to him. 

"Gwen" she smiled making my face light up "you?"

"Ellie" i say.

"Pretty name" Gwen smiled looking at me.

"Thank you" i say "i have a friend named Gwen" i say making Gwen smile.

"Well now you got two of them" she smiled making a small laugh leave my lips. it felt nice not to walk. my legs were tired. i was tired. even when i do sleep. i have nightmares. which make it harder to sleep. i found comfort in knowing Dean had them too. it calmed me down. i wasn't so scared anymore.