IVAN
1 year before the wedding...
"Ang daming lamok dito. Pwede bang huwag na nating ituloy?" Nathan complained, slapping his body like an idiot. Walang ibang ginawa mula kanina kundi makipagpatayan sa lamok.
My eyes darted at him. "Subukan mo lang. Ililibing kita sa luneta kasama ni Rizal," I threatened and helped him smacking his body.
He groaned so hard as if his world was about to collapse. "Pota naman oh," he whined, stomping his big feet.
My phone grabbed my attention when it vibrated. I gasped. "Oh, ito na! Nagtext na," I said to him, tapping his shoulder.
He drew nearer to me. "Ano daw?"
I giggled. "Padating na daw siya. Sa bench lang sa kanan, sa unang poste ng ilaw. Nakaitim na jacket at naka-white short, "I said, reading out text loud enough. "Oh, ayan na. Tae, yung sinabi ko kung ano ako. Galingan mong umarte kung ayaw mung upakan kita," I threatened him once more before I pushed him away from hiding behind the tree.
He walked timidly and looking back at me. Ang sarap balatan gamit ang pusher. Letche! Nakakapunyeta gumalaw.
I sighed when he started to walk like a normal human. There was a lot of "Chismosa" at "Chismoso", looking weirdly at our direction.
I couldn't put the blame on them. We were suspicious, hiding like criminals behind a tree. I was thinking about what kind of criminal they had mistaken us. I hoped that it was a spy or an assassin since they were cool.
I gasped. Shadows!
I laughed all by myself that made the other passersby turned their attention to me. I gave them an aggressive expression.
Duh, I find it funny so It's my freedom to laugh out loud.
It almost slipped out of my mind that was on the mission. Our mission was not about eyeing or hunting men, but it had a slight connection with it.
I acknowledged my gay heart that I loved hunting bulky papa's. I might seem to be more beautiful than my gay heart, but I am a one hundred percent straight woman, sometimes.
Sometimes, I wanted to slap myself for being such a lewd woman. I was also ashamed of my filthy mind, even from my boobs to my flower that I am a beautiful woman.
"I am Reizy Czaivanny Yuginawa, sixteen from Yuginawa family, a family of beautiful people," I said proudly to myself. I thanked my family for birthing me so I could be an example of a Goddess.
My human friends called me many nicknames, but they most often call me Ivan. I tried to crack my head how many nicknames do I have, yet I failed to count it since it was more than my fingers.
Putting it aside, what we're doing was planning to meet someone. I joined a texting clan disguised as a man. I disguised as a good-looking, basketball player.
I also faked my name as Louise Key Dela Cruz. I used Nathan, my boy's best friend's pictures to pretend.
Syempre dapat masungit ako na pogi para maraming bebe.
I laughed mirthlessly when I recalled that because of my silliness that I ended up in trouble.
Then, there was a girl that I made her fall in love with so I could swindle some load balance from her, and her name was Krisny. She wanted to meet me because she really does love me.
I replied to her that I was busy with some kinds of stuff. But the truth was, I was so busy playing online games. I was obviously busy killing bosses and some hero characters.
It surprised my shit when she threatened me that she will commit suicide if I don't meet her. I only thought she was just a crazy girl. I deliberately ignored her threats and resumed playing games, pressing the keyboard hard.
I thought that she was just bluffing threats because she just wanted to see my fucking face in person. I wanted to reply to her that I don't give a fuck.
Sadly, she flooded me with unaccountable threats that drives me crazy. It boiled my fucking blood that I agreed to meet her. To be exact, I agreed that she could meet Johan at this park.
I was so grateful to Nathaniel Kiro Corpuz, my boy's best friend. He surrendered at me and decided to pretend as Louise my faked name.
I secretly followed my best friend so once I saw that fucking bitch, I could pull all her hair out from her scalp so her brain will start to work again. Then, I could pretend that I am Johan's real girlfriend, or not.
I know that I am a bad person.
After I ended everything to her. I swore in my heart even Boypatis die, I won't deceive people again.
That crazy woman gave me a trauma that ladies could go crazy because of men. I regretted getting in a relationship with her.
My soul was almost sent to heaven when there was a sexy woman who went near to him. She was wearing white shorts and striped sleeveless, she might have taken off her jacket when she saw Nathan. I guffawed at Nathan's reaction like saying, come to papa, baby!
Kulang na lang ay pumalakpak ang tenga niya at magback-flip sa saya.
Nathan stiffened from his position when the woman slowly passed at him. He looked like a broken-hearted king kong.
I burst into laughing when he jumped from his feet when there was a big-boned woman, wearing a glittered jacket and dirty white shorts, who poked his arms. His eyes squinted because of her sparkling jackets. I laughed out loud in my position from afar.
His face was totally hilarious as if he was praying that she was not the one he was meeting. His eyes went up to the sky, I think he's mumbling something.
I laughed out again, guessing his lines.
"ILABAS NIYO LAHAT NA MGA SANTO. ILAYO NIYO AKO SA BABAENG ITO. GUSTO KO PANG MAG-ASAWA NANG MAAYOS AT MABUHAY NANG MATAHIMIK."
His eyes landed on me and gestured slitting his throat. He was so shocked when the woman grabbed his wrist. His gaze slowly went back to the woman with a pleading expression.
Ang epic ng mukha niya. Shit! Parang nagdadalang tae si Johan.
He sighed in relief when the woman left after they talk quickly. My eyebrows knitted when he looked at me and shook his head.
I grimaced, waiting for that woman. Pinagpepiestahan na ng lamok ako rito.
My attention went to my pants where my phone vibrates. My eyes widened in shock when I realized that I forgot to give my phone to Johan.
"I'm already here. Nakita na kita." I read the message. It sent chills to my whole body after I read. I gulped and slightly trembled, still holding my phone. My heart burst in shock when my eyes witness such sin.
Oh shit!
To be continued...
BINABASA MO ANG
A Mafia's Secret Wife
HumorKris grew up in a world that consists of violence, illegal things and pain. Not until he met his maid. She was a stupid maid and a moron wife. Yes, his moron wife. Unfortunately, he married a moron woman in secret. She's his maid and she became his...