Book 3: Updating

Chapter 18

Rebecca’s Perspective

In the morning I had questions. I hoped Jesse felt more secure in order to answer them. I didn’t want to hurt him, or make him think that I blame him, but I had to have answers or I would overthink everything and be in a bad place.

I snuggled against Jesse’s chest and wrapped my arms around him. I needed him to stay positive and secure while I got my answers. I had to have tact. I was the one who had to be his rock, because his trauma could make him lose stability and the last thing I wanted was him to go backwards. He was doing so well.

Love? I asked gently.

I kissed him awake and nuzzled his chest.

I really love you. He held me tightly.

I love you. I kissed his lips.

You know I have questions. Are you in a place to answer a few? I asked kissing his neck, and once I am done, we can “reconnect” again… I promised trying to keep the conversation light.

You know I am always up for “reconnecting”. I will answer whatever you need to ask. He felt anxious.

How far along is she? I asked carefully.

Five weeks. We got an ultrasound because I didn’t want to believe anything without proof. Of course I had more tact than that, but that was my true motive. He answered honestly.

How many babies? Are you sure you are the father? I continued.

One. I have no idea. I don’t know her past, except what she told me. The doctor said the earliest we can do a paternity test is at eight weeks. We agreed to do the test three weeks from now, and think about all the options and discuss everything civilly again then. He explained.

What are your thoughts if you are the father? I asked.

I really don’t agree with abortion. I am in awe of how women create new life and it feels wrong to selfishly kill a living person just because it is the most convenient answer. I also know Tiffany probably conceived through trauma. She said she is only 19 and has never even considered if she wants kids or not. I was going to wait and hear her thoughts in three weeks after we get the results of the test. If the test is positive we will go from there, talking things out, the three of us. This effects your life too. We are a united unit, and we will agree to make my half of the decisions together. She is the other half of the situation and we will tactfully negotiate with her respectfully. I want to negotiate with equal power, respect, and compromise. I want to think about this step by step and not get ahead on the process. He described his thoughts.

That sounds pragmatic and reasonable. How is she handling it? I inquired.

She was terrified. Hysterically terrified when I walked in. I kept someone in the room at all times. She told me she was pregnant, and I was gone for a while. The doctor got me to come back. I assured her she was safe. You and I won’t hurt her no matter what happens. If it is mine, confirmed by tests, I will take responsibility and take care of her and the child. She gave me consent for an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy, check the age, and start things on factual grounds. She was worried when I suggested talking to her therapist, because she requested you. I assured her that if she wants to stay with you or not will not change a thing. You would be professional. She can even keep you and get a second therapist just for this one topic. It was up to her. If I spoke wrong, correct me and I will smooth it over. When I left, she knew she was safe, we had a plan to test paternity at eight weeks gestation. We will take the next three weeks to calmly think about the situation before discussing a plan. Jesse described his visit.