The Shattered Hearts

Prologue

As I walked into the dimly lit bar, the heavy bass of the music immediately enveloped my senses, drowning out the noise of my racing thoughts. It had been a long, stressful week, and I desperately needed an escape from the chaos of everyday life.

I lost my interest in studying because there is Ashiana who is perfect at everything she does. She can do whatever she wants, while I am? I need to strive harder to attain my goals and for god sake! it tears me apart. I'm tired of trying!

I sat at the bar counter asking for another drink while the smoky air hung lazily around the room, creating an atmosphere of both mystery and allure. It made me calm. Wanted to do more than drink for this night. No one cares if I drive home drunk. No one cares if I will involve myself in an accident.

Aiden doesn't care about me. He is already happy with Ashiana. Sa totoo niyan sila na. Wala na talaga akong kalaban-laban pa. I am really delusional? Wala ba talaga kaming relasyon ni Aiden? May sakit ako sa utak? Shit!

Memories flashed on my head when someone bump my back and it made me spill the drink in front of me.

"Traciel! Traciel! Wake up from your dream! don't ruin my relationship with Ashiana. I trust you, you are my best friend and I can't hurt you." kita ko sa mata niya ang pagmamakaawa na tigilan ko na siya. Anong magagawa ko ito ang iniisip at ginugusto ng puso ko? He help me to heal, and he is my medicine.

"But you are already hurting me! Did you already forget our love for each other? Did you really forget about me? Aiden ilang buwan pa lang tayong hiwalay!" lumuhod ako sa kanya at yinakap ang kanyang binti para hindi niya ako iwan.

It is department day and I should practice my walk but I am here in front of this guy begging to him to come back.

Tuluyan akong napaupo ng itulak niya ako. Matalim niya akong tinignan at napalingon din ako sa direksyon kung saan ipinukol niya ang nasasaktan at nag-aalalang tingin na dapat saakin niya ginagawad.

Tama nga ako. She's here and she saw me with Aiden. I smirked. Hindi ko man makuha si Aiden but atleast I hurt her. I hate her. I will do everything to make her suffer. She is the reason why I and Aiden can't go back together.

"Traciel! Hindi naging tayo! Ilusyon mo lang yan! Do you want me to go with you when you visit your psychiatrist? Traciel nakikiusap ako na tigilan mo na ito. Hindi lang ang babaeng mahal ko ang sinasaktan mo pati ako, Traciel, sayo ko unang sinabi sayoo ang nararamdaman ko para kay Ashiana and don't push me to cut our ties because of this... Hindi ako si Liam! Hindi ako iyong lalaking nagustuhan mo nung pagkabata mo! Ako si Aiden! At hindi ako si Liam, nauunawaan mo ba?"

Umiling ako sa kanya at muli siyang yinakap.

Hindi ganito ang naramdaman ko noong yinakap ko si Liam. Hindi siya si Liam. I'm so fucked up! for goodness! I almost ruin him, I almost ruin our friendship. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait!

"Sorry, sorry, I'll explain everything to Ashiana. I'll help you both. Sorry, Aiden."

Tumango siya saakin at muling hinigit sa isang yakap. He brush my head and calm me down. Madalas niya itong ginagawa sa tuwing umuiyak ako na siyang dahilan ng pagtritrigger saakin to breakdown.

"It's okey. Sasamahan kita sa susunod na araw. Kasama mo ako sa laban na ito. Sasamahan kita hanggang sa gumaling ka na. But in order to do that you need to forget about Liam."

Tumango ako sa kanya. I wipe my tears and pumasok na muli sa dressing room. Marami ang nagtatanong saamin kung sino ang dahilan ng aming paghihiwalay ni Aiden. Hindi na ako sumagot to not spice up the situation and the hate will thrown to Ashiana.

Bumuntong hininga ako. It's been a week since I undergo some therapy and I am getting better but at the same time it helps me to forget about Liam but this is not good. I want him in my memories. This makes me worst. I promised to him to find him. I promised to him that I will remember him and our memories we shared.