We could have a life, us two.. (Completed)

A lost love

"Pet, I love you" Sweeney's voice echoed in her ears as she was standing by the grave, her eyes red of so much crying, her cheeks more hollow, the lids under her eyes more darker and sunken than ever. One might expect a pregnant woman would gain more weight and get more plump when days passed but for Nellie it was the opposite, she was melting with grieve and unanswered questions of how this happened. Laying in bed most of the time, pushing herself to eat for her little one, she felt nauseous because she was forcing herself. That was what he would want take care of herself for his child, so she knew that she needed to be strong for the life inside her. Even if it feels impossible to do so. Their baby.. a life that would be a constant reminder of him needs love and care.

Every concern she had before felt too absurd right now. Being mad at him for the most ridiculous things, beceause he read her diaries, beceause he did something or just the opposite he didn't. Instead of just being grateful of his progress or his love for her, grateful beceause he was beside her as her husband now. She had taken everything for granted, forgetting how she was dying in the past for him to say 'I love you' once. Now she was the one wishing she could utter them one more time to him. No, instead she spend the time they had like an idiot with being mad, locking him out of his own bedroom, oh god what she would give to lay beside him right now. How ungrateful she was all this time.

"Thank you.. for everything.." she said whispering to the grave, she had been waiting for everyone to leave as it wasn't acceptable for a woman to attend the grave side service, but she wanted to pay her respect in person. She gave one single last look to the grave with thinking his children would be very proud of him later and turned thowards Dorthy the only person who knew how much pain and misery she is in right now. At least she could burry her husband unlike her..

"I'm so sorry" she said to Dorthy her voice merely a whisper. The woman embraced her crying as she had heard her clearly. The pain was still unbearable and it isn't like it will ever change. Dorthy pulled a little back and looked at her, they both could see each others tear stained face from behind the veil. "I hope if he.. you can lay him at rest" was what the poor woman could say, she didn't quite know what to say at this moment.

"If there is anything I can do" Breaking apart Nellie still offered help not tinking about her self and how devestated, tired, confused she was because of the heartache she felt, the lack of sleep and nourishiment. She still could think about others even in this state. "The same for you, we are friends" Dorthy spoke feeling bad they had the same fate but at least she had family that came over to support her but Nellie.. she was on her own bearing a child.

On the carriage ride back she took because she didn't want to be seen as she was in mourning and it wasn't usual that widows came out in public so soon during this period. She left Dorthy there knowing she would want time alone by the graveside. Her hand reached to her stomach. "We'll find him" She reassured her baby closing her eyes for a second thinking about the what happened these last days.

Shaking like a leaf and crying desperatly Nellie was holding on to Louise, she tried to speak buth her sobs held her back from doing so. Her face was pale like she had seen a ghost what wasn't much far from it. The older woman asked someone to bring some water so she could wash her face and she motioned her to sit on the steps of the porch afraid she would faint at anytime.

It was one of the neighbors who came with a bowl and a jug water so she could wash her hands and face. Stroking her back so she would breath more calmly Louise spoke words to comfort 'It's going to be alright', 'Easy dear think of the child.'

She washed her face with the help of them and dried with the towel that Mrs Taylor gave her. She thanked her breathless and looked at Louise "It's not him" she said trying to compose herself and her breathing after a couple of seconds. She thought for a second she was loosing her mind as she opened the lid of the coffin seeing a completely stranger laying in it and the sight of the corpse was horrible.