Memory Fragments: Probity

As It Begins (VIII/X)

...You have to be joking. The fuck do you mean black or white wall? Erick, I have been going through this for, what it seems, hours now. So what do you mean I'm the one stuck behind some wall? I have gone deep, seeing all there is to this...heart of hearts that we share. Not a single time did I think I was behind some wall because I have been able to move freely between all of this halls, chambers and the like.

"If the prisoner is set free, yet remains inside their prison, are they truly free?"

...Don't you go on about with this. I freed myself thanks to this journey that I made with my comrades and people of Fanear. I have come to free you. What Edward was, you are no more.

"If I truly was, then I will never be again. If I am to break this cycle, what I am now I shall remain forever."

...If I was human, then I'll never be again. That is what Edward said to me one time. So, he stuck with it.

"What heart remains the same, then, now and forever; violates its own nature."

...Change is natural for the heart. That is why I have been seeing this twisting corridors, changing pictures and all this crazy shit.

"The heart that violates its own nature, breaks the cycle of change and goes on in its own path. Alone."

...Erick, where you alone in here? All this time? Because of what Edward did, where you imprisoned here in this stasis place, behind the wall?

"I chose my path, different from Edward's. We broke our cycle and went on separated from each other. But I was not alone. I had solitude inside of me while he...he was the one who remained alone."

...Solitude, huh? I never thought of it since I was...I was never alone all this time.

"Severing bonds lead to loneliness. But simply untying them and keeping them open for others to wrap themselves with them when they feel ready to establish a connection with you. Or the other way around, that is what solitude is. We are not alone. We just want to be."

...I wanted to be alone for a long, long time. But no matter what I did, I always found myself surrounded by people that cared about me. I ignored them from time to time, but I never wanted them to truly be gone. Gabriela, for instance, is my adopted daughter you see and...

"I know, Aaron. You don't need to go on. I have been here a long time, and I know all there is to this place. Gabriela may not be your biological daughter, but a child is not defined by blood ties."

...I know that. I was just going to say...

"She was alone at the time you found her. Crying, starving, beaten up and about to be sold off as a sexual relief slave. Crow killed all of them and flew off with the little girl wrapped around on his bloody, jet-black wings."

...She doesn't need to know that. It was just a job for me and, well, I took her initially just because she was going to be added to Edward's group. But then...

"But then she smiled at you. A sulking, monstrous killer, getting smiled on by a little girl."

...I

"Your heart changed that day. You felt her loneliness and it resonated with yours."

...Erick, tell me one thing. Was I the same?

"Yes, Aaron."

...So I can do the same to her, as you did to me?

"...What Edward did was not because of me."

I know that. I am saying what Erick, you, did. Can I leave her behind, yet always keep her in my shadow, protecting her?

"...What shadow are you going to cast, though? Aaron's, or Faust's?"

...Both. Until she outgrows them and shines brightly, I will cast both good and bad aspects of myself. One for her to learn, one for her to warn against.

"...If both shadows are to be cast, then. What you need is to find Crow and become one again. For Edward and me that is not possible anymore, but for you two? There might still be a chance for machine and man to be one again."

Together, we are going to...

"Let us hope to be on time. Before the Crow's claws pierce the beacon of our exit. If that happens before we can get out of here, then it is going to be the end of all, and not the beginning."

...What are you talking about?

"Aaron. Go. You have been here long enough. Corruption will start if you do not return on time. There will be no merging, just a continuation of the cycle. A dream never ending, because it lost its reason to start."

...I'm going to bring your dream to reality, Erick. Edward's may have led us to this, but it was still part of yours, right? Let's break this wall and unite both versions of ourselves. A dream comes whole by bonding in solitude with another's.

As it begins, the beginning of solitude. It is best if I leave everything behind, then. Say goodbye to all, and to everyone. I'm going to exit now, alright? Thank you for this final teaching. Thank you for being a father to me, a teacher, a mentor, but above all else, my enemy. Erick, Edward. If I go through with this, I better see you at the end, just as I saw you here, in the beginning. No matter what solitude may bring to all of us, our goals will merge into one and, at that point, we will be friends again, not enemies. Crow is waiting for me at the other side.