Memory Fragments: Probity

Carcere Insaniae

"Welcome back, Matthew. How did it go? Did you improve, or felt worse?"
"Your daughters are no more. Is that what you wanted? Did I do good for you?"
"All bid farewell. All gone and done. Your psyche restored, away from the curse"
"Dr. Cherith is here for you now. Your love, your spouse. What more is there to view?"

[...] Dr. Cherith. If I may inquire a bit of your time, that is, borrow it for a second time
"Matthew, hello. It has been some time since last we saw. I do not think I have it anymore"
"The Oratorium has been silent as of late. Perhaps the signature is out of chime"
Out of chime? Doctor, what do you mean by that? Did we not set the proper score?

"The time of chime is out of rhyme. Perhaps it is us that now have to mime"
Mime? Please, doctor. I have gone through a lot today, so it be good for us to resume
We have a lot of work to do. These people need care, love, and us, always in our prime
"And so do I, Matthew. What am I to you, but the mimicry that your heart forgot to assume"

[...] Forgot to? Cherith, I love you with all of my heart. But this is work between us
Listen, ok? I remember now. Rather, I discovered what happened to our daughters
I did not know beforehand, but they showed me all the things we need to discuss
"And yet you still mimic. The mime of no mind stares at his rival amidst the clear waters"

"You doppelgänger. You traitor. Why do you keep mimicking my love-pain so?"
"You tore it apart. Electrocuted, burned, drowned, and buried all five fragments of it"
"For what? So you could mimic that which you did not know? Sound, you, forgo"
"Our love's melody. Our cries in symphony. Their meaning behind that you forgot to emit"

[...] Cherith, wait. What are you saying? I did not mimic anything. All has been real, I swear
"And yet the sound of my voice eludes you once more. The beating heart of your dead wife"
"I have no heart for you. Not a second one, no. Yet you still seem to be deeply unaware"
"If beating is what you hear. Then you are far beyond a healthy, sound, and salvageable life"

[...] Cherith? What is this about? I never killed you. I would never. I love you
That heart of yours still sounds. Its blood flows rich and pure of any hurtful
"Just like the water in your eyes. Ever flowing, distorted tears is all you ever knew"
"Stop the self-pity. No one cries harder than the sea of filling your heart ever so desertful"

[...] Self... Listen, Cherith. And listen well. All I have done has been for them and you
This complex, this research, this mystery of eldritch proportions. All for everyone's good
"But we all never wished for this. We were all healthy before. So this was for who?"
"The man you knew you could never help. The man of mystery. A lie you could never stood"

"Listen to me, Matthew. And listen well. Find my voice within, and listen this time"
"Mystery unsolved does not mean a truth hidden within. A lie could be proven right"
"If nothing is there, then what is it? A truth? A lie? Perhaps, an answer sublime"
"That is all you ever need it. An answer to your question. The nature of insight"

"Stop, Matthew. Let us help you. You have done enough damage to yourself, ok?"
"It does not matter if it is true or not. All that matters is the answer itself"
"Doctors Aonghas, Nefertari, Mariah, Zikra, and Rhea welcome you to stay"
"I will handle your recuperation process. They shall keep records on your bookshelf"

[...] Who are you, really? Not a word you have said has made sense. Not one to dwell on
Was it I the one mimicking, or was it you? My wife has been dead for so long now
I completely understand now. I did not exit the house. The sea is where I have been gone
 Driven mad by it the whole time. Time allotted to you. Prisoner of who, why, what and how

This is my prison. My mind. Is it not? You are nothing more than memories
False or true, it does not matter. A fabrication is neither real nor fake. Yet it exists
Reality is as we see fit, yet, in it, we are swayed by it with its unknown imaginaties
What I do not know, I imagine. What I know, it mimics. The nature of life's twists

I will never know you. The how, why, what and who of you. And that is fine
I will no longer be a prisoner of the eldritch enigma. Of your nature unhinged
Yet I know it still. A love unforgettable. My love for mystery and your heart's define
Let it remain so. Lest madness takes over, you and I, free and unfringed

"Matthew. Let me show you something. It is something you and I both need to see"
"Though you have remained unaware, it is I who has the awareness"
"Of you and I. Of the minds intertwined. Of the hearts, shapeless as they will ever be"
"I am truly sorry, Matthew. Of my toying amidst your poor life's unfairness"

"I shall be the one forever in prison. Lost and forgotten, I will drift towards my homeward sea"
"You have broken me. Your love, it has given shape to me. The shapeless heart has been filled"
"Neidmahrud: The Shapeless Heart. Shaping to one's love is madness' view. I, you need to see"
"I am your lovesickness. Your madness unsure. I am nothing more than you fulfilled"

"See me now. Gaze upon me and see the me I wished for you to see. This is me, and me alone"
"Matthew. I am reflection. I am reason amidst ambiguity. Dare I not give form to the unknown"
"For this and all else. Let me show you a movie of regret. Let my heart no longer bemoan"
"Nihil, I call it. The nothingness within. A reality inside of my heart's very own"