Escaping Hallucinations

Round 14

Date: 9th June 2015

Time: 10:07pm

Coming towards the end of the day...and I gotta say, I don't know if it was nice or not.

I had my English exams today, which I know I obviously failed. And then lunch came along after that...

"Would you miss Robin if she was gone?"

Earlier on, Viola were telling me that people would miss me if I 'went'. She said her and Harley would definitely. I said Harley wouldn't. Now, what was Harley's answer?

Silence.

I knew it. She probably hates me. Wait no, she definitely hates me....what did I do?!?!

/You're just crazy and unstable. No one likes crazy and unstable people./

Anyways come home and...get in an argument with Harley...
I'm dumb. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but apparently I should know. It angers her that I don't know...

I wish people would just tell me things. Honestly, how am I supposed to make myself a better person if I don't even know what's wrong with me??

Well since Harley most likely hates me know. I'm going to have to find new people to hang out with for that field trip on Friday. I'll just ask Amika.

'You know for Friday, can I hang out with you, Ari and Fuyuki? My teacher told us it was gonna be S, A, B and N and you guys are the people I'm most close too so...'

"Sure."

Thank goodness I won't be a loner on that day...

Later on, Momoko and she comes along. Momoko mentions about how I'm being stupid and all that stuff. And...that girl is telling me all sorts of stuff.

"The truth about you is that you're crazy. Straight crazy. I'm not being mean, I'm just stating the facts. You're bad mojo and I can't have your crazy rubbing of on me, it's already fucked my life over enough. Honestly, I just need some normal. And that isn't you. You're no good for my soul."

I'm crazy? I already know that but isn't everyone just a little bit crazy? And how can crazy rub off on someone? It's not contagious...

"And you may stay up and cry all night, wondering why so many people dislike you. Well I have your damn answer right here. It's because you're crazy."

/See, I told you that's why everyone hates you. You're not normal. You're crazy. You're a psychotic freak./

"Well if you act normal and sweet and nice then you'll attract more people. No one wants to be friends with "that weird girl" or "the crazy one" when someone asks who you are, you don't want them to say "oh...her...yeah I wouldn't talk to her."

I have to act...normal? Then what? What if people start liking me cause they think I'm normal and then find out who I really am? They would call me 'fake'. They would hate me even more, trust me. Plus if they find out about It...and the people dying cause of me then....I don't even wanna think about what happens next...

"Wait, killing people?! And you might wonder why I broke it off...GET HELP ROBIN. Real professional help. Professional help can't do it all though, you've gotta help yourself."

I'm scared. I'm so so scared. I don't want my family finding out about how fucked up I am, they would ugh no I don't wanna think about it. I ask what was left of my friends and...well you know how that turned out. It's scary. It's really really scary the moment you admit you need help, so much help that you need a professional, not just friends and family.