Escaping Hallucinations

Round 40

Date: 28th August 2015

Time: 7:00pm

"I don't think we should talk until you feel better."

What the hell? You're one of my closest friends, why would you say that?

/She's not your friend. Why would she be friends with you??/

"Who did this to you anyways? Besides if you were that bad and told no one then I don't see how this was their fault. How can they trust someone who is a danger to themselves? I'm not being patronising I'm trying to help you see sense. You made some mistakes you'll regret for life. Now you need to face the repercussions like the lion you are and stop feeling sorry."

I don't think you get it Tae, do you even know why I'm like this?

"You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's immature."

You are so so wrong. Like really.

"Why did you never get help in the first place?"

BECAUSE I HAD ALL THESE VOICES AND SHADOWS SAYING THAT IF I TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT THEY WOULD KILL THEM. AND THEY DID. SO MANY IMPORTANT TO ME ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL BECAUSE I TOLD THEM. IT'S THE REASON ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE RUINED WITH ME SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

"I don't need this. Shadows? Why are you so desperate to be mental?"

/Desperate little insane girl./

YEAH YEAH I HAVE HALLUCINATIONS DOES THAT MAKE ME A FREAK NOW?!?!

"You think this is okay? You are delusional."

You know what? Fuck you. You really don't get the extent of this problem I'm having. You don't get anyone's problems at all. Just shut up already and leave me alone. I ain't go round talking to people putting me down. Bye.

There, that should do it. I can't have anyone saying that stuff just cause they don't believe me. I'll just block her out.

"I understand. One day you will realise I was right. Perhaps you and all the others should have been locked up for their crimes. You're either an attention seeking liar or a mad person. Either way I really don't want to be around you. I don't like drama and you are the definition of bad news. Being honest. Even your depression is something I no longer care about. See how quickly a person can turn sour? I tried to help but you know you don't want to listen. Good luck in life. Hope you realise how full of it you were. Mad people have places to go. Mental facilities. In a straightjacket and a padded cell. Maybe then your "voices" will leave you alone. But there's always the shadows. The shadow of your failures."

Filthy bitch. How can she not believe me? And say all that stuff to me?! She's supposed to be my 'friend'.

/None of these people would have left you if it wasn't for your crazy mind. Little insane girl./

Why me?