Her Touch ~Tomura Shigaraki x OC AU~

Chapter 10: Sweetness On My Lips

Illika

Okay.

Maybe I should have listened to Toga.

Maybe I should have stayed in my bed and gotten some more rest, but I tried. Really, I did, but all I did was toss and turn, thinking about him. Worrying and wondering. So much so that I couldn't spend another moment in that bed.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't walk here. Hell, no. My legs are still too weak and tremble at the very thought of trying to carry my weight, but I did manage to convince Jin to help me out. After he agreed, he placed me in a wheelchair and with my monitor and fluid drip attached to my chair, he wheeled me to Tomura's room. Now, he's outside keeping guard while I look at Tomura.

More like watch.

I sit in my wheelchair, watching as Tomura sleeps. Soft snores roll through his parted lips as strands of his ivory hair fall in his face. His eyelids are draped closed, long lashes sweeping his cheeks.

He looks flushed, but so peaceful. I don't know if I can remember the last time he looked this peaceful. At least, not in recent days.

Honestly, before everything with the twins, it feels as if all we were doing was fighting. Not just innocent bickering, either. There were hateful words and threats. Possessiveness and forceful hands. Violence always tiptoed at the edges of our tempers. Toxic is the only way to describe it all.

Because of that, one would think I shouldn't want to even see him. If I were to hear another woman say she wanted to be near the man who was a complete douche to her, I'd think she was either crazy or manipulated. After all, who wanted to be with a prick?

That would be my mentality, but being on this side... Being at the end of this spectrum in being the woman who wants to be near her douchey man, I can say that it honestly doesn't make any sense. I get it. I know how crazy this looks to an outsider. To someone on the outside looking in, I am the crazy one. Choosing to worry and care...love a man like this.

I said it. I love this man. I don't understand why. He pisses me off, and he's displayed plenty of times how little he can care...or how little he pretends not to care. It pisses me off to know this, but I can't stop it. The way my heart flutters whenever I so much as hear his name. His voice. See or feel him.

I know that I love him, and maybe that's my toxic trait. I love him so much that I actively choose to overlook all his red flags – and he has plenty. But then again, so do I. I am a walking red flag myself. Just as volatile and dangerous. And even so, I still love him.

I love him.

I smile, reaching down and gliding my fingertips along his cheek. He feels warm and smooth. Then, my fingers drift, coming to his lips. The scars are just as noticeable as always. Jagged lines that crisscross, leaving the skin uneven.

Some would probably be revulsed by those scars, but not me. I don't think I ever have been. I've been curious about them, wondering about their backstory. Curious as to how they got there, but I have my hunches.

That memory I saw of the man screaming at that little boy... I know that little boy was Tomura. Scared and helpless. I'm sure he accumulated at least some of his scars at that man's hand. Disgusting. Hurting and breaking the spirit of a little boy. No child deserved that. No one.

I swallow the lump in my throat and continue to stroke his face, brushing the little hairs from his face. He really does look peaceful and at ease. I like this. He needs this. To sleep and rest. I'm glad Dr. Garaki sedated him, as horrible as that may sound, but it's for his own good. Spazzing and fretting did him no justice.

Rest and sleep, that's what he needs.

And arguably, what I need, but I've tried. I think I've slept enough. Now, I just need to put all my worries to rest. To appease my own frets.

I frown.

I don't know if they'll ever fully be appeased, though. Not until he's awake and I face the music. To know if he hates me for what I did – for what I saw. I never meant to look. I don't even know how it happened, but it did, and I clearly saw things he didn't want me to see. And despite my deep curiosity, I have to accept whatever he chooses, even if it means he wants me to go. I will have to make peace and accept it all.

I stroke his face a bit more then place my palm over his gloved hand. Even with this thick material, I can recall and almost pinpoint where each scar is that divots along his skin. Rough and coarse from years of neglect and pain. I'd take that roughness over the softness of another any day.

My fingers lace with his and suddenly, there is a small twitch of his muscles. Heart sputtering, I glance up, meeting his eyes.

They have fluttered open, those red irises looking at me through his long lashes. He's awake. God, he's awake, and I'm so happy, but also so nervous. I'm happy because I've missed him, and I love him. I'm nervous because I'm afraid of what he'll say. So, I speak first.

"Sorry to wake you," I whisper, still holding his hand. "I didn't mean to. I just –"

"You're okay," he says. His voice is croaky with sleepiness as he smiles. "That's good. That's a relief." He lays, his eyes fluttering closed again as he mumbles a few more words, though inaudible.

I guess I didn't wake him. Not really. He only stirred long enough to say that, but now there are more snores rolling through his lips. I smile. This poor man. He's so exhausted. I guess I should let him rest. I'm just glad to see he's okay.

"Illika," Twice whispers through the door, "we should probably get you back before someone notices you're gone."

"Okay."

Yeah. We probably should. The last thing I need is to throw everyone into a conniption fit. And besides, I got some sense of closure. At least, as far as knowing if he's okay, and he is. He's just exhausted.

But he seemed happy that I'm okay too, which means there's a chance that we'll be okay. We'll be okay. We can get through this. There's hope.

Gently, I kiss the tips of his gloved hand and place it back down as Twice makes his way in. He unlocks the chair's wheels and starts to wheel me out of the room.

I glance back one more time to a sleeping Tomura.

**Hello, lovelies! Another lighthearted chapter today. Things are slowly progressing to the next bit, but we're just gonna take it easy for now. That said, what are y'all thinking? Are ya nervous about whatever else I may have planned? You probably should be. Then again, maybe not. I'm mean, I know lol. So, I ended up on BookTok, which influenced me to buy a few new books. I got Haunting Adeline and Hunting Adeline (both by H.D. Carlton), and a SIGNED copy of Tales of Novia (volume 1/book 1) by Jessica Cage. So far, I've read a little bit of two of them, and they're really good. I do know the Adeline duo have some intense trigger warnings, so I'm extremely interested to see where that goes. As for Novia, I'm still geeking that it's signed. Plus, I got that one off Jessica Cage's TikTok shop and she has some of the cutest and most brilliant packaging I've ever received. Like, she sent a thank note in an envelope with a wax seal. Listen, I thought it was the sweetest. And no, I'm not affiliated with either authors. I just felt like sharing. Wow. Didn't mean to ramble that long lol. Sorry! As always, thank y'all to the moon, beyond, and back! Y'all are awesome sauce! Wuv yous!!**

-Noel Ross