The Scent of an Orris

Chapter 21

"One vanilla coffee po ulit" sabi ko sa waiter at binigay ang card ko

Nandito ulit ako sa paborito kong cafe, nagiging hobby ko na namang pumunta dito kapag marami akong iniisip

"Okay po, coming in 5 minutes" tumango naman ako at nagpathank you

Inayos ko ang skateboard na dala ko sa gilid at tumingin sa labas ng window. Gaya ng dati, narerelax ako mga streetlights, sasakyan at mga tao

"I'm crazy" bulong ko sa sarili ko bago ko ayusin ang airpods at iplay ang music

I just kissed my professor and it consumed every fiber of my thoughts

"Here's your order po" sabi ng waiter. Inilabas ko naman yung mga papel na hawak ko, dinala ko talaga itong mga 'to para dito ako magreview, gawain kona rin ito since senior high

Next week is the final round, at dahil sa nagawa ko, the pressure builds, I can't ignore but question myself whether I still want to be chosen as the representative of our school

Trying to calm my nerves, I grabbed my cup of coffee and took a sip. I decided to go back to my reviewer, hoping to gain some clarity and confidence.

I kissed my professor yesterday

I couldn't forget the unexpected kiss I did with my professor. It was a reckless action driven by strong emotions that I couldn't fully understand. But now, it felt like a burden that weighed on my mind, constantly reminding me of what happened.

"Fuck" I whispered, hindi ako makapagfocus

I felt frustrated and wished I could erase the memory, pretending it never happened. The secret I carried around made it hard to focus on anything else, especially the upcoming final round.

Every minute passed, it felt like the memory was taking over my thoughts and identity. I doubted myself, wondering if I had made a mistake and if I could control my desires. It was a constant struggle inside me, as I worried about the consequences and how it could affect my future.

"May I take a seat?" Nawala ako sa pag-iisip nang may nagtanong sa akin. Tumingin muna ako sa paligid ko, meron namang mga vacant chair pero gusto niyang makiupo

"Dylan?" Tanong ko, hindi ko kasi expect na magkikita kami dito. Ang tagal na noong last na nakita ko siya

"How are you?" Tanong niya at umupo naman sa harap ko

"I'm doing fine, how about you?" Tanong ko sa kanya, lumapit naman yung waiter at nag-order naman siya

"Hindi kana ba galit sa akin?" Tanong niya, siguro kung may masasabi akong nagbago sa kanya, iyon ang ngiti niya. I'm not quite sure how to put it into words. It's not like it used to be, and it's leaving me feeling confused

"Halos makalimutan kona yung issue" tipid na sagot ko sa kanya. Hindi ko alam paano biglang naglaho yung issue na 'yon, nakalimutan ko na rin bigla

"For the last time, I deeply apologize. Pinagsisisihan ko iyon" he said and I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke

"Here's your order po" sabi naman nung waiter

"It's okay, I already have forgiven you" sabi ko naman sa kanya, trying to ease the weight of guilt that seemed to burden him

"I got expelled" sabi niya pagkatapos humigop ng kape. His voice heavy with sadness. I could tell that this turn of events had deeply affected him.

Alam kong malungkot siya dahil noong first year kami, panay banggit niya sa akin na excited siyang maggraduate sa SU. It was clear that his dreams had been shattered.