All Over Her

Chapter 32: What Did I Miss?

Once Harry and I got back to my dorm, I tried to be quiet when I opened the door. Ziggy was luckily still awake, reading some random book George bought her after she finished her last one.

    "Hey Jamie... and Harry? Why are you both here." She said, putting her book down like one of those sitcom mothers.

    Harry came in first and I locked the door behind us. He sat next to Ziggy, leaving space for me to sit in front of them.

    "Uhhh I don't really know how to start this." I said.

    "I do. I fucked Draco, J fucked Mattheo." Harry had no hesitation with us, with anyone really.

    "WHAT!" Ziggy exclaimed.

    "Yeah... I don't know what happened. I came in there to apologize for being bitchy to him and then we just.. Yeah." I didn't really feel embarrassed, but I just didn't know how to explain it.

    Ziggy stared blankly.

    "I had a great time actually." Harry said, smiling to himself.

    Ziggy finally spoke, "Hold on. Harry first."

    We both looked towards him.

    Ziggy started again, "I thought you liked Ginny?"

    "I do."

    "But you fucked Draco?" I said confused.

    "Why?" Ziggy asked

    "I can like more than one person, guys." He said defensively.

    Ziggy giggled, "Yeah but really? Out of all people Draco?"

    I giggled too.

    "Nuh uh don't laugh at me she fucked someone questionable too." Harry pointed too me.

"What happened with you and Mattheo Jamie?"

"I don't really know exactly. But I liked it. But I hate that I liked it. And I hate him, but not fully... but I kinda stormed out of his room."

"Girl what-" Ziggy said, even more confused than before.

"I think I have feelings for Mattheo. But I think he'll hurt me because he's just

always been so horrible to me. And if he's always been horrible to me when we're nothing then he could be worse when we're something. What if he's just trying to play on my vulnerabilities. Get me to like him then fuck me over." I felt like I sounded ridiculous but I couldn't help but feel like I needed to get away from him.

    "Jamie, you don't know all that for sure." Ziggy said, putting her arm on my shoulder.

    "I know but the fact that it could happen scares me more than anything. The last time I had sex it was casual, you know? And it's been a good minute so I didn't go into his room planning to do it. I just wanted to talk but for this past while... things have felt so different with him."

    Harry decided to speak this time, "I get you. But you should try to actually talk to Mattheo before you know he'll hurt you."

    "I think it's easier if I just don't. Besides I have someone who's super nice and sweet who I know is interested in me. Blaise is super kind and I see that going somewhere. I think I'd be happy with Blaise and I know him even less than Mattheo. He's just been so polite and I think that counts for something."
    Ziggy and Harry gave each other a concerning look.

    "Don't date someone just because you wanna forget about someone else." Ziggy said. She seemed so wise right now.

    "That's not what I'm doing. There was nothing with Mattheo so there could be nothing to forget. Goodnight guys." I got up, crawling into bed.

    I heard Harry sigh. He got up to leave our room, giving me a side face as he left. Ziggy didn't say another word, the last thing I heard from her end was the shutting of her lamp. And I was out.