All Over Her

Chapter 52: plus one

Harry was taking a little longer than expected. I knew he was saying goodbye to Draco so I hope that was all. I'd be mortified if he was talking to Mattheo about anything. George had been helping us load our things into a large trolley that we'd be rolling onto the train. Ziggy was doing a few rounds around the room, checking to make sure she didn't leave anything she'd need to bring home. Like her sun plush that Sirius gave us as a kid. She got the sun, I got a moon, and Harry got a star. It's like our baby blankets.
The dorm always looks so strange when it's so empty. We'd be back in a few weeks but leaving always felt so weird. I sat on my bed, just in my thoughts while everyone else rummaged around. The noise was peaceful in a way.
A knock came from the already opened door, it was Fred.
"Hey Cas, do you need any help with anything?"
"No, not at all Freddie, thank you." I smoothed out the minor wrinkles in my black tights.
"You alright?" He sat down next to me.
I glanced at my basket of Mattheo notes from my peripheral vision and a wave of emotions brewed. I tried to ignore it.
"Just tired, I haven't been home in so long, I need to sleep in my own bed."
"I bet it'll be different though with George and Zig as a couple."
"Oh for sure, if they keep me up all night I'll lose it."
We laugh in sync. Then silence. I was always comfortable with Fred. He makes me feel better. I needed to focus on something other than Mattheo during break. I needed Fred there with me.
"Freddie... could you come with us back home?"
He blinked, "Oh! Uh yes of course, I'd love to."
He put his hand on my knee, rubbing with his thumb. I thought nothing of it though. We've established where we stood.
"And... How is it with Riddle?"
A sour taste filled my mouth, "No longer an issue."
He nodded softly, "I'll see you downstairs then."
As he walked out, Harry walked in.
"Malfoy is something of a talker then hm?"
He laughed and exhaled at the same time, "Man of many words my man."
"Oooo my man? Very personal." I teased.
"Oh stop it, things have been developing more."
I giggled. "Did you do it?"
"Yup."
I hesitated asking this because I was scared of the answer. "And did he say anything?"
Harry was silent for a moment which made me anxious.
"No he... he didn't say a thing."
I felt my heart sink. Not a word? Not a single word. That necklace that I had so openly made a big deal about. That he also so openly made a big deal about. Nothing? Not even a sound? An exhale? A click? A tisk?
"I'm sorry J." He rubbed my back. "Be down in five."
I was alone in the dorm now. In the empty dorm. With the barren decor. With the undone sheets. With the non steamy washroom. Even Penelope's cage was all packed away and ready. I stared at my basket. It was very filled with letters. His handwriting. His parchment. His coloured tie. He was all that was left in my room. Part of me wanted to burn them. Or dump them out. Maybe feed them to some animal.
But the way I felt reading them. The way I felt him. Like he was embracing me. I didn't even know who he was for the majority of them. Yet I still felt so comforted. So much less lonely.
How could he shut me out?