All Over Her

Chapter 35: Date Night

He took me outside of the castle, away from the courtyard. We were in a weird area, not yet at the Forbidden forest but not Hogwarts either.

    "If I'd known better I'd say it seems like you're trying to set me up for something." I hoped I sounded playful.

    "In a sense, yes." He led me out farther into a dirt path.

    It trailed slowly into grass, a small structure of greenery increasing in size as we got closer. The trees sheltered us from the dark sky, the black now replaced with a deep green. They appeared as though they were following us, caring for us. Making sure we were safe. He led me towards the structure.

    "I know you skip dinner often, so I thought this would be worth it." He said, holding my hand.

    My heart sank, in a good way of course. Or maybe not of course, but I was feeling very feeling for sure.

    He stuck his hand into the wall of vines, leading me into the structure. As I walked in, the room was illuminated. The bark walls crawled with accents of ivy. The small crevices adored with jars of lighting bugs. Some candles were scattered around as well, admitting a warming scent as well as illuminating the somewhat dark room. In the middle lay a blanket, as well as a picnic basket. There were two pillows on the floor. Both being a shade of green that matched the motherly trees that let us into their home.

    I walked in deeper, noticing shelves embedded into the bark. Books lined whatever surface they could. More ivy dangled from the roof, I went to touch them as purple flowers sprung instantly. I jolted my hand back, looking at Mattheo. He nodded, so I dragged my hand across more vines, flowers blooming at my touch. He came up behind me, grabbing one of the blooming flowers and placing it in my hair. It was a periwinkle color, with a yellow center that blended into a white.

    "This is so beautiful. How do you know about this?" I said, turning to him. I forgot that he was right behind me, we were face to face.

    "When my mum was at Hogwarts this was her spot. She found it one day during a late night detention and she wandered off here. She excelled in herbology and taught me when I was old enough." He used his thumb to rub the petals of the flower in my hair.

    My first instinct was a defensive one, "I bet girls relish in its beauty whenever they see it."

    His hand trailed down to my cheek, "I've never brought anyone else here."

I felt my heart beat faster, my hand reaching for his open one. I yearned for contact as I inched my finger closer. Finally, I locked my hand with his, somehow feeling his pulse at the same tempo as mine. I wanted to kiss him. Feel him. But I shouldn't.

    "We should eat." I said, backing away and turning my cheek.

I sat on the pillow. I assume my sudden burst of hunger threw him off. He sat down next to me, grabbing the picnic basket.

"You don't talk about your mum much. With a place this beautiful she must be just as extraordinary." I said, not thinking too deeply.

    He remained quiet for a moment, zoning out a little.

    "She was." He said, continuing to rummage through.

    "I'm so sorry I had no idea." I probably tanked this whole date.

    "No pity needed. She's not dead, just dead to me." He pulled out some plates.

    As curious as I was I felt as though a date isn't the best time to talk about his relationship with his parents so I just let it go. He pulled out various tupperwares of covered food.

    "Snuck this from the kitchens. I have a house elf that appreciates a tip or two." He uncovered the food.

    In one bowl there was pasta, another tomato sauce, another shredded cheese, and some meatballs in the last.

    "This looks so good." I said, trying desperately to see if he'd give me the green light to grab the plate and utensils to serve myself.

    "I'm glad you like it, but first I wanted to talk." He grabbed my hand.

    I know I shouldn't assume the worst, but would I really be with Mattheo if I didn't?

    "I wanted to apologize for everything. All the times I was mean to you. On some level I envy you and I lashed out. I'm sorry." He held my hand tighter.

    I didn't want him to let go. I blinked softly. But before I could say a word he deflected, his hand releasing from mine.

    "Well, let's eat." He said, handing me my plate and utensils.

    The ghost of his palm floated around my hand. His warmth comforting whatever apology he gave me. Maybe that was part of the whole point. Physical touch boosting up the emotional.

    I gave myself a big heaping of the pasta, then the sauce. I mixed it all up and had a big bite. It was absolutely delicious, maybe helped by the fact that I was hungrier than usual that night.

    "So, what is it about Cassandra Black that no one else knows?" He said, taking a chomp out of his meatball.

    "That's a very forward question for our first and possibly only date." I said.

    "Possibly, that means I have a chance." He grins.

    I roll my eyes at him, trying to hide the slight giggly feeling that developed in my stomach.

    "Seriously though Cas, I wanna start out fresh. Erase everything that's happened." He continued to eat.

    That bothered me, how casually he wanted to forget. Because despite what I felt or may feel for him, he still hurt me for years. Being made fun of and tormented for seemingly no reason isn't so erasable. I just stared at my food for a moment.

    He stopped his eating, "Is everything okay?"

    I felt like the lights around me dimmed, even though nothing changed at all.

    "I can't just erase everything Mattheo..."

    "Why not?"

    My chest burned at the question. I couldn't tell if he was genuine, taunting me, or just an idiot.

    "It was just too much for too long. I can't just forget it."

    "I thought it was okay? I mean after the other night-"

    I snapped at him, "Just because we had that one night doesn't mean you've been forgiven for everything else. I can want you without wanting anything to do with you." I breathed out.

    He put his food down, thinking quietly.

    "I was wrong about you." He said, not looking up.

    Instinctively, I still acted in anger, "And what did you think of me Mattheo."

    "That I could mean something to you."

    "I don't get why you want me so bad. You have Daphne draping herself all over you." I said, cutting him deeper with my words.

    "Daphne doesn't make me feel the way you do."

    I was so angry because I just didn't understand. All these years, why all of a sudden?
    "What do I make you feel then? Why me? Why now? After everything?"

    He finally looked up, "Things changed. I'm different, I feel different."

    I grew impatient, "That's not enough Mattheo."

    I pushed myself off the ground, dusting off any dirt that might have crept onto my clothes.

    I felt him grab my hand.

    "Cas... please don't."

    His sincerity was clear, but I couldn't help but stay angry.

    "I'm leaving." I swipe my hand away. Walking out of the sanctuary. I crossed my arms, rain beginning to sprinkle as I walked.

    "CAS WAIT."