All Over Her

Chapter 44: What Are We Now?

After what felt like an hour or so straight of dancing, I remembered the little meeting I had to attend.

"I'm gonna go get a drink guys!" A clear lie but I needed a reason to slip out.

Hopefully one of them heard what I said, but I also hope that all of them are distracted enough not to take notice. I mean I'm going to tell them probably directly after whatever happens tonight.

I scutter out of the Great Hall, my heels clacking on the floor. The noise getting louder the farther away I went from the music. I went all the way down to the dungeons, assuming Mattheo would be back at the dorms. On the other hand, Daphne may be there as well. Of course that'd be just my luck if that were true but I had no other choice than to face it head on.

I head to the door, quietly saying the password in case Filch or Mrs. Norris were wandering around. As the large doors opened, the common room looked barren. There wasn't a single person in the common area, I guess they were all at the dance.

I take my heels off at this point, for stealth and mobility, but also just because my feet were already hurting by this point and I don't need to be standing around in them any longer than I need to. I head over to Mattheo's dorm, the door shut tight.

I knock, "Mattheo?" I yell slightly.

I wait about a minute until he opens the door. He didn't swing it fully, but just enough where I could see him entirely. He was half asleep, groggily rubbing one eye. From the background it seemed as though he just got out of bed. He had no shirt on, only bottoms. I could see the black hemline of his boxers, over that he had gray and black plaid pajama pants. The drawstring was tied into a neat bow around his waist, it was kinda cute.

"Cas, it's 2am." He said simply.

"I'm sorry, I should go actually." I was instantly embarrassed, maybe this was a bad idea.

Straightening himself up, I assume processing that I actually listened to him. "Don't go actually, come in."

He opens the door wider, letting me in and waiting until I enter fully to close the door. The room was as dimly lit as it was last time. The ambiance brought shivers down my spine, goosebumps of the last time. A residual effect from a time very well spent, an assertion I felt was appropriate to make because of my recent decision.

"So, you wanna talk I assume?" He scratched the back of his head, his hand then going down and rubbing the side of his neck. The veins on his hand protruded towards me with the slightest flex of a finger.

"Yeah, I was thinking about what you said. About us."

He perked up even more.

"I'm sorry, for being hypocritical, that's where I wanted to start."

"No need to apologize for that, I got my piece, I did the same thing to Daphne. I won't be living that down for a little while as soon as she tells her friends."

I nodded anxiously, not knowing how to respond. I pushed at the skin next to my thumb nail, trying to gather the right words.

"Is there something else you want to say?"

I feel my heart race. I made this decision just a few hours ago. I want him, seriously want him. In every way. But I feel this blockage. I don't know what to say.

"Cas, it's late. I know this is a lot to talk about in the middle of the night. We don't need to say a thing yet."

Maybe I was right about him needing a nap to be in a nice mood. I take a deep breath, looking at him. It was like a spotlight shone on him. The background was blurred into obscurity. The only thing in the room was him. I was a spectator, looking in on his face and wondering what he'd say. What he's feeling.

He's completely attentive, his snark withdrawn from its usual height on his everyday scale. His mouth lay relaxed, not begging to say a word, but not stopping himself from bursting out either. His arms crossed, the muscles on his upper arms flexing. His eyebrows laid straight. An almost unwavering stare on his face. Whatever happened next was fully up to me.

I clenched my fist, "I want you Mattheo." I blurt out.

"What?"

"I want you. Well, us."

He blinked.

"If you'll still take me."

"Really?"

"Yes." I grew worried that he had changed his mind.

A warm smile spread on his face. An easy smile. Butter being spread on toast type of smile. Receiving a bouquet of fresh flowers smile. Winning a first place medal kind of smile. Eating your favorite meal kind of smile. A smile that came so naturally it greeted your face like an old friend.

"I'm so glad you fucking said that Cas." He said, picking me up by the waist and spinning me around.

He embraced me tightly, holding onto me, making sure I didn't fall. I wrap my arms around his neck, cupping the back of his head with my hands. Sharing that mutual closeness. Trying to match the emotional with the physical.

He moved my hair out of my face as he placed me down, "What changed your mind?"

"You."

"Me? We were in an argument."

"Yes but it wasn't the argument, it's everything you do when we're not arguing."

"And what's that?"

"You feel for me so passionately. With all of your being you feel for me deeply."

"And do you feel the same?"

I brushed my hands through the shorter parts of his hair. His hands still on my waist. I felt my heart swell into balance.

"I really do."

He kissed me, his mouth pressing lightly into mine. But as I leaned into him, his body closer to mine, the kiss was more passionate. And before I knew it, he needed me, and I him.