All Over Her

Chapter 38: To the Moon

Mattheo and I haven't said a word to each other since that night. It's been about two weeks and the school has been abuzz about the Yule Ball being this Friday. When I went dress shopping with Ziggy I overheard some girls in the store. Daphne gushed about how lovely her dress will compliment Mattheo's tie. A stinging feeling yes, but one I had to let go because I ended it. With the negative came positive as well. I focused even more on my studies and have actually been enjoying myself in the Slug club. I almost didn't go since my night with Mattheo had just happened but Ziggy convinced me otherwise.

Quidditch is still going on and I'd like to think I've made lots of improvement. I know a two week span isn't much time but I made it work. As for the Yule ball, I decided to go stag. By choice really, I had a few offers for a date but I declined. First was Blaise, who actually asked me during potions... right next to Mattheo. I felt his eyes burn the back of my head, but Blaise was none the wiser. I guess he hadn't told anyone about us. Even Theo, who seemed like his best friend. But even if he did I wouldn't have noticed because my interactions with that whole group dissolved all at once.

I stopped wearing the necklace he gave me. Which I think he noticed. He doesn't realize I catch his slight glances at me. His glazed eyes looked angry, regretful. I ignored it as much as possible because I assumed having to interact with me would be too hurtful. For the both of us. I wanted to throw away his letters, which Ziggy begrudgingly agreed with. She's very sentimental and thinks we should keep every little thing that ever made us happy because even if it's over, it holds a pocket of time where things were different. So, she changed my mind.

While the letters were gently tucked away, I left the necklace on my desk. It was still so beautiful, the way it shined. It was such a small gesture. It was like he predicted the future. Saturn. The rings around it spinning endlessly. That same feeling that consumed me, made me scared. He knew I felt it and he wanted to comfort me. I knew he did. I was angry though. Angry that he could see me so well. How could I protect myself if I'm so easily read. So Saturn will stay imobile, occasionally swaying back and forth if my desk moves. But nonetheless, imobile.