Pocket Full of Lies

9- Promise

I need to applaud his spirit.

Even after getting clean bowled by me in the last conversation, he gathered courage to talk to me again.

It was clear as day that this task was really hard for him. The way his mouth tightened as he tried to come up with something; the way he puffed up his cheeks before letting out a long exhale; everything just showed the efforts he was putting.

"Silence is fine too," I said at last, pitying him and myself at the same time.

If looks could kill. No, he wasn't glaring at me or something. He looked so defeated, that it made me feel like a person who kicked a puppy. Thus, killing with guilt.

"Don't look at me like that," I said, groaning.

"What did I do now?" He asked out loud, before muttering, "I keep making mistakes."

"Nothing."

"Huh?"

"You did nothing wrong," I clarified. "I was just saying that you don't need to force yourself to talk. I am okay with sitting in silence."

"But you got bored,"

"Yeah." I nodded slowly as my lie came back to kick me in the ass, "—but that doesn't mean that you have to exhaust yourself by trying to come up with something. You are here to get your health better and not to entertain me. What if you fall ill from this over-exertion?"

"However you are here getting bored because of me," he countered.

"And I will have to be here for more days in case you really get sick from trying to talk," I counter-backed. "If it comes naturally then talk, if not then stay silent. It's fine. I don't mind it one bit."

"Are you sure?" He asked, but raised his hands in surrender immediately as he saw my annoyed side-glare. "Sorry, sorry, don't answer that." He cutely face-palmed, making me chuckle.

He looked up hearing my laugh, and sighed in relief.

"It's annoying, isn't it?" I asked, resting my face on my palm.

"What is?" He asked curiously yet cautiously.

"Constantly walking on eggshells, always wondering if you made a mistake."

"Aren't you doing the same though?" He questioned, apparently having noticed my awkwardness as well.

I closed my eyes in embarrassment, before nodding sheepishly. "I want to stop, and I want to ask you to stop as well, but..."

"But it is easier said than done," he completed my sentence with a solemn sigh.

"What to do?" I asked, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"Well for starters, I will stop forcing myself to talk, and you can...I don't know what you can do." He scratched his head, failing to come up with something.

I snorted, before saying, "Yeah just come up with the solution for yourself, that too something which I told you a few seconds before."

He shrugged. "What to do? In this foggy state of my mind, I can do nothing but follow your suggestions."

"While still suspecting me?" I asked straight-forwardly, tired of running in circles around him.

I rolled my eyes as he started coughing.

"What...No! What are you talking about?" He asked acting surprised.

"This act would have worked if you were shocked by my words right away. Acting startled after taking centuries to come up with something, pfft!"

"Listen...that's not...I wasn't...,"

"Well?" I asked, seeing that he gave up on explaining himself.

"I don't know myself," he said, looking distraught but honest. "Nothing feels right, nothing feels natural. I really don't know what to think and what to feel."

What you are feeling is right on point. Because truly nothing is right and nothing is natural.

"Sorry."

"Please don't apologize," I said, dying out of guilt inside. I was the one lying, yet he was the one apologizing.

"I made you upset once again, didn't I?

"Why do you care if I am upset or not?" I questioned back, huffing.

"Why wouldn't I care? You are my girlfriend, after all. Even if I can't remember, your feelings matter."

And that's how my friends this time I was clean bowled.

My feelings mattered...since when?

"Are you crying?"

"What?! No!" I said as my hand hurriedly went up to my eyes. Damn! They were actually wet. I wiped those traitorous tears away before they could fall and looked up at Rehaan with a small forced smile.

My smile faltered as I saw him looking at me with the same expression he had when he saw me cleaning the room.

"Don't look at me like that." I wanted to say it as an order but the words came out as pleading instead.

"I don't know why you are surprised by the fact that your feelings need to be cared for too, but I promise that this is going to change from now on."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep."

The moment your memories will come back you will forget all about the little old me and the promise you made.