Pocket Full of Lies

10- A lie to myself

Ah! Freedom!

I stretched my arms, getting rid of the whole day's tension, before I moved out of the room. Before leaving, I stole a glance at Rehaan who was snoring lightly. Either it was the high dose of medicines or because of him tiring himself out by talking too much. Whatever the reason might have been, the guy was sleeping soundly. And I took that opportunity to stretch and go out for some fresh air.

I wrapped my arms around myself as it was a bit chilly outside. It really made me want to grab a blanket and sleep then and there itself.

Now that I remember, my sleep has been sacrificed for two days straight.

"Poor me!" I muttered, heaving a sigh.

"Ahem."

"Were you so bored that you started to talk to yourself?" Ananya Di asked as soon as I turned around after hearing the throat clearing sound.

"Why not? Why wouldn't I want to talk to the most awesome person on the earth?" I winked.

She chuckled, "Ok Miss awesome person—"

"Most awesome." I corrected her.

"Ah yes! Miss most awesome person, care to spare some time for this simple and plain person?"

"Simple and plain? Where is that person? I can't see?" I asked, turning my head here and there to look like I was searching for someone.

Ananya Di lightly punched my shoulder, making me stop my act, before we both started laughing at our randomness.

"Whoa! I seriously needed that laugh," I said, after a while.

"Yeahhhh...that's why I came here. You know to fulfill my duty of being your personal clown," she said sarcastically.

I snorted, chuckling. "Jokes apart, what are you doing here?"

I dangled the bags in front of my eyes. "I figured you weren't coming home, so I brought you a change of clothes."

"Wow, you are seriously my saviour Di." I moved to give her a bear hug, but the bags came in between.

Laughing, she pushed me away with her bags, "Stop buttering me, and take this," before placing them on my hands.

"Huh? Formal clothes?Why?" I looked up at her in confusion when I saw a pair of formal clothes along with my casual pair.

"Have you forgotten that you are currently unemployed?" She asked, looking at me sternly. "Try looking for a job starting tomorrow. You have already wasted two days."

"But Rehaan...how can I...?"

"He isn't going to pay you for your work now. If you have forgotten, he has fired you from the job. He isn't your boss now and a boyfriend doesn't pay his girlfriend for taking care of his health."

"You are right, but what do I tell him?"

"That you need to work," she replied in an 'it's so obvious' tone. "Why? Does being a girlfriend mean that you have to stick by him 24x7? Do none of the people in the relationship work? Are you a special case?"

"I didn't mean that," I said, narrowing my eyes at her. "Just that he isn't well and doesn't have anybody to look after him right now."

"Muskaan, caring for your ex-boss or your now 'boyfriend' isn't going to pay your bills.

"While trying to help him, don't forget about yourself. If you don't get a job soon, you will be on the streets. You don't have much money left. And as much as I care for you, I don't have any to give you either."

"Don't worry; I wouldn't burden you by asking for money," I assured her, "you are already doing too much."

"Yeah, so take my laptop and make your resume."

"You even brought your laptop." I looked at her dumbfounded.

"Well I don't think you have a laptop. And I thought that you probably wouldn't have written your CV, considering you just got your identification documents," she replied, looking here and there.

"Aww! Why are you avoiding my eyes when you are doing a nice deed?"

"I thought you might get hurt with the fact that I was thinking that you don't have anything," she said, looking down as she dragged her foot on the road.

"Surprise, surprise, I really don't have anything," I joked chuckling, before thanking her in the most sincere voice I could muster.

"Now stop thanking me and start writing your resume, before you have to go back to your 'boyfriend'," she said, air quoting the word 'boyfriend'.

I rolled my eyes at her, "Stop it. He is not really my boyfriend."

"Speaking of him, how is he doing?" Ananya Di.

"His head hurts a lot, but apart from that he is physically okay."

"Physically?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Well, he is still uncertain, doesn't know what to do, who to believe. It must be so exhausting for him," I answered, as I thought of the scared Rehaan.

"Has he been lashing out?"

"Huh?"

"As far as I have heard, most amnesia patients do so. Throwing things in anger, cussing out everybody. It's scary but understandable too. They don't understand what's happening so they take it out on the world," she presumed, before getting concerned and asking, "Is Rehaan like that too? Has he hurt you?"

"No, he hasn't," I answered swiftly to curb her worries. "He was thrashing around at first, but then he went silent."

"So he hasn't been talking at all?" Ananya Di asked in a shocked voice.

"No, he is talking. Or should I say, he is forcing himself to talk. However, at the start, he didn't. Just silently stared at his hands. Followed through all the tests silently and stayed completely mum when everyone in the room talked about him."

That image of him still saddened me. It just didn't go with the jerk I knew for seven years.

"Though he did start talking to me when we were alone in the room. It's a small relief, but I also know that 90% of those conversations are forced," I said, feeling bad, but suddenly a flashback crossed my mind and I looked at Ananya Di happily.

"However, there's one good thing that happened. He genuinely laughed. Not once but twice."

"Who counts the laughs?" She looked at me like I was deranged.

"You will count too if you see someone laughing for the first time in seven years." I pouted, slightly hurt by her expressions.

"Don't lie. Didn't laugh for seven years, my foot!"

"I am serious." I insisted. "He might have thrown a smile here and there. But I have never seen a full blown laughter until today.

"Amnesia did one good thing for him. It gave him a much needed break. He was always going around being mature and serious. At least he can be carefree and laugh to his heart's content."

I was annoyed when he was laughing at me, but now that I remembered it, only a content smile came on my face.

"Back to Earth, Muskaan!" Di shook my shoulders, bringing me out of the thoughts.

Still keeping her hands on my shoulders, Di looked at me seriously. "Don't get your feelings attached, Muskaan. All this happiness will amount to nothing once he gets his memory back. Even if by God's grace, he doesn't sue you, he is definitely going to throw you out of his life. Don't forget, he has already fired you."

"What are you blabbering about? I have no feelings for him whatsoever." I huffed, pushing away her hands from my shoulders.

But only my heart knew that this was yet another lie. A lie to myself.