Pocket Full of Lies

68- Fight of emotions

I fucked up.

All I wanted in that moment was to hurt him like he had done to me. However, the second those words left from my mouth, I regretted it. Even if I wasn't already regretting it then I would have after I saw his eyes.

I hadn't even been able to mend the bruises from last time, yet I ended up breaking his heart again.

Way to go Muskaan! There's no one as talented as you in creating blunders.

He let out a sardonic chuckle. "That was a low blow."

My eyes closed for a second, before I pathetically tried to salvage the situation, "I didn't...,"

"I know," he cut me off with an eye roll, trying to hide his pain. Giving me a small guilty smile, he continued, "I wasn't trying to call you a fool either."

I was about to accept his indirect apology when he made another remark causing me to grit my teeth. "But you really need to stop trusting people too much. Your blind faith is going to be the death of you."

"Seriously?" I scoffed, just a second away from strangling him.

He surely knows to turn my apologetic heart into a volcano in mere seconds.

"Neither I nor your uncle are worthy of your trust. We both are scums of the earth," he said, looking more frustrated by himself than by me.

I thought he was just against uncle but it seems like he is against his past self too.

"Are you calling yourself a scum because you agreed to my uncle's contract?" I asked, feeling that this must be the cause of distress. "If yes, then you don't have to. You were just fifteen years old, a kid. You did what you had to survive. I totally understand it."

"I had to pretend to be your boss. That's it. You wouldn't have turned into a cleaning and cooking machine if I did just that—"

I cut him off, before he could start his abuse theory again. "I told you it wasn't you but me. I was afraid of losing work so I kept on fulfilling all the unnecessary demands without fighting back."

"You wouldn't have to fight back if I didn't make those demands in the first place," he yelled, before sighing and continuing in a normal voice.

"I hated you and your family to the core. I hated that contract even more. I blamed you for my parents' death, although you didn't have any hand in it. Because I hated you so much, I tried to make it difficult for you. I made unreasonable commands to make your life troublesome. I—"

"Figured," I said, rolling my eyes.

"What?"

"It's not that hard to understand. I figured that out the moment uncle told us about you pretending to be my boss."

"Then why?" He looked at me with disbelief. "Why stay by my side? After what all I did, you should have—"

"What did you even do?" I chuckled.

"Did you not hear anything I said?" Rehaan looked at me with bewilderment. "I just informed you about hating you and deliberately trying to make your life difficult. Why are you being so nonchalant? When I...when I have been so...,"

I rolled my eyes at his self-hatred. An undeserving hatred at that.

Scoffing, I commented, "You hated me to death but all you could do was annoy me?"

"What?" He looked at me dumbfounded.

"You literally had the power to actually abuse me but your revenge only consisted of being a jerk to me, which by the way most bosses are."

He looked at me like I had two heads. His frustration and anguish were quite clear when he voiced out the next questions.

"Why aren't you angry? Why don't you despise me? I literally turned your life into a living hell, when none of it was your fault to begin with."

I shrugged, but seeing his annoyed look, I spoke up. "My reaction would have been way different if I found out this information a month ago. However, things are different now.

"You aren't my jerk boss anymore. Neither am I the housekeeper who did anything and everything you demanded.

"In the past few days you have tried and managed to make up for something you don't even remember. So—"

"I do," he breathed out, looking at me with teary eyes.

"Huh?" It was now my turn to look dumbfounded.

"I remember it all now and I hate every bit of it," he said, looking so broken.

My eyes widened at the information and also by the fact that it didn't click to me right away. I should have known the moment he started talking about the past.

Tube light!

No wonder I was confused by his behaviour. The mix of old and new Rehaan I had felt earlier wasn't an illusion then.

Memories of Old Rehaan and the kindness of New Rehaan were fighting a huge battle.

As much as I wanted to know every single thing about these past seven years, I knew this wasn't the right time.

Every single memory he had remembered had shaken him up. But now, they all came back in one go. I couldn't even imagine what he must have been going through.

It must have been exhausting and probably traumatizing for him, and yet all he focused on was trying to get me away from uncle.

And all you tried was to throw his efforts on his face.

Remorse was a small word to describe what I was feeling. I seriously needed to learn how to channel my hurt.

Instead of hurting him back, I should have just let him know that his words and actions had hurt me. What he did next should have been the base for my next action.

There's no use in crying over spilled milk.

"Let's rest for now," I said.

He opened his mouth to protest, but I spoke up before he could.

"I know there's much left to discuss and disclose. But I am not in the condition to understand anything more today.

"I found out too many things today. And my mind really cannot take any more. How about we rest for a while, gather our thoughts and then discuss what has happened and what do we need to do next?"

I knew telling him to rest for himself would be of no use. He would just urge he was fine. However, if I said I needed that time and space, he would give that in a heartbeat.

"I promise I won't contact uncle until we both come to an agreement," I added as an afterthought, knowing that he wouldn't be able to rest if he kept worrying about that.

He let out a huge sigh, before nodding.

"I won't trouble you if you need some space to figure out everything. But I am here if you need me," he said in the softest tone possible, "whether you want a shoulder to cry on or to hit me senseless, I am here."

Giving me one last gentle smile, he left the kitchen.

This guy was making a mess out of my emotions. I really didn't know what to feel about him right now.