Pocket Full of Lies

32- Question of Pride

All the courage vanished as soon as I reached.

My hands moved towards the door before coming back to my side. This continued for maybe five times, before I finally gathered some courage to face him again.

I was his culprit. Probably the most untrustworthy person in his life right now. But I couldn't fathom leaving him alone either. He needed me.

Don't forget his pride.

Just because he needs you, doesn't mean he will accept you again with open arms.

"No, no, no, no, don't think like that. If these negative thoughts lingered in my mind for any second more, I would lose my courage all over again."

I frantically shook my head, trying to remove all the thoughts from my mind.

Stop before people think you have gone crazy.

I instantly stopped as that thought crossed my mind. Puffing out some air, I finally moved to open the door.

My hand stopped a second before I could open Rehaan's door with the key. My eyes lowered as realization dawned upon me.

I didn't have that right anymore.

Gulping a bit, I hesitantly moved to ring the bell. It was time to face Rehaan now and properly apologize for my misdoings.

My foot began tapping as I waited for him to open the door. 'He probably didn't hear it,' I thought as he didn't open the door even after a minute had passed. Shrugging, I rang the doorbell again.

There was no answer this time around too.

I was ready for him to close the door in my face in anger, but I hadn't expected the door to never open.

★★★★★

Was he purposefully ignoring me?

But how would he know it was me on the other side of the door? He didn't have a door cam.

He was probably in the washroom.

I patiently waited for a few more minutes, before turning to leave. He probably knew there was no one other than me who would come to visit.

I had just taken one step in the other direction, before the negative thoughts got the best of me and I hurriedly took out the key from my purse.

"Rehaan!" I yelled, entering into the living room, looking here and there to search for him.

"Just letting you know I am inside the house," I said as I moved towards his study and then balcony.

"Come and throw me out if you don't want me in," I yelled again, before moving towards his bedroom.

I pushed the bedroom's door with force, "Don't call the cops on me for intrud—" I stopped when I found the bedroom was empty too.

"Where are you, Rehaan?" I whispered, scratching my forehead.

Feeling my throat dry, because of all the yelling, I moved towards the kitchen to drink some water.

I was about to take water from the refrigerator, when my back accidentally touched the apple on the nearby counter and it fell on the other side. I moved towards the other side of the counter to pick it up, when my eyes fell on Rehaan.

"Rehaan!" A scream left my mouth as I saw him fallen on his right side. The wounded part of the head being the one touching the floor.

I rushed towards him, and gently supported his head and neck to bring him back to the sitting position. I checked his wound and sighed in relief when I found he wasn't bleeding.

Given the position of his legs, and the way his head was still okay, I presumed that he hadn't fallen while standing.

Making him rest his head on the wall, I patted his cheeks. "Rehaan, please wake up."

I stood up to bring some water when Rehaan didn't budge. "Rehaan, come on," I muttered as I sprinkled water on his face.

Tears welled up in my eyes, as I noticed his condition. His shirt was wrinkled, the top buttons open and his face was full of sweat. Seeing that fruits he had been keeping inside were still on the counter, made me realize how long Rehaan had been in this condition.

"It's my fault," I cried, as I desperately tried to wake him up. Patting his cheeks, shaking his shoulders, making him smell onions; I tried every possible thing I could think of.

Panicking when nothing happened, I was about to contact the doctor. It was just then I saw his eyes fluttering and sighed in relief.

"Rehaan," I called him in a relieved yet hesitant tone as he slowly opened his eyes.

I was ready for him to push me away harshly, but he just stared at me with an empty look in his eyes.

I forwarded a glass of water to him to drink that I had already kept near me. Noticing that his hands were trembling, I moved the glass towards his mouth rather than just giving it to him.

"Slowly," I said, as I made him drink some water. My hand instinctively moved to wipe off his chin as some drops of water had spilled while drinking.

His body turned rigid upon my action, for a second before returning to normal. It was then I realized what I was doing. My eyes widened and my breath hitched as I froze. It made things worse, when his eyes moved to look at our position.

While trying to wake him up, I didn't realize that I had ended up almost on the top of his legs.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

I hastily tried to get up, and like every other cliché story, I ended up falling upon him, not! Instead I fell on the side, the handle of the shelf hitting into my waist.

Thank my stars for saving me from further embarrassment and giving me pain instead.

I cleared my throat, after standing up from my awkward position, my hand on my waist as I tried to discreetly ease the pain.

I looked back sheepishly at him later and found him still staring at me quietly, just like he had in the hospital after waking up.

Just like the time when he didn't know anything about me.

Rehaan was back at the stage where he didn't know or recognize me. No, he didn't lose his memories again. It was just that whatever he knew about me was a lie to him. Even my honest moments weren't believable now. I couldn't even blame him. I was the one who did this to him.

Keeping aside all the sorrow, I smiled at him softly and bent towards him to give him a hand. "Shall we get up now?"

I kept my tone light so as to not startle him. For all I know, I might be scared thinking I was the culprit.

He shook his head, rejecting my hand, and moved to stand up again. Respecting his decision, I took a small step back. However, I still stood close to him in case he lost his balance.

His legs faltered a bit, making me rush to him.  But he showed me his palm, making me stop in my actions. He took the support of a shelf's handle to stand up and used the same method to slowly walk out of the kitchen.

His legs were cramped after being in a weird angle for God knows how much time. He kept stumbling, making me worry. Understanding that this was a matter of his pride, I stayed quiet. I followed closely behind as he walked through the help of furniture and walls.

At least he didn't stop you from following him like a shadow.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared of falling too. He wanted my help without wanting to show that he needed me. If this was what Rehaan wanted, then this was what he would get.

I was his safety jacket.

A jacket that would stay beside him to help even if his pride didn't allow him to wear it in fear of looking ridiculous.