The Kindness of Strangers

Ch. 6 - Confrontation

I wave my hands in distress.

"I didn't say anything rude did I? Oooooh, I can be so stupid!!" Mama hushes me.

"Go find the notepad and go talk to him. He's terribly shy about his looks. You probably just surprised him." I nod, rummaging around in the office supplies for the pad of paper and a pencil.

I look all over the house but finally find Thomas in his room with the door locked. I knock gingerly.

"Tommy?" I hear a grunt. "Can I come in? I wanna talk to you. If that's okay with you." The door swings open and I look up at those usually kind eyes squinting at me with suspicion and anger. Eyes that held warmth are now cold and dark. I shakily hand him his notepad and he grabs it from my hands roughly. I watch as he begins to write against the door.

In poorly written words I see the words 'making fun' and I flounder.

"THOMAS! I have never made fun of you a single time! Everything I say is honest!" He throws the notepad on his bed and his hands up, growling and squalling at me, a large finger jabbing my sternum. I gasp at his tone. He has never used that tone before.

"You best be happy you're mute 'cause that sounded like some mean sass comin' from you!" He writes again, the poor pencil creaking in his grip. In large letters, he writes 'ugly. You make fun'. I slap the paper back onto the bed and tackle the man into the hardest hug I can manage to give him. A grunt of surprise is my reward. A wheezy groan escapes the both of us in mutual embarrassment. This was new, different.

I feel my eyes getting watery, and a knot forms in the back of my throat.

"Thomas Hewitt you are the handsomest man I have ever known. You're strong and honest, and you work hard..." He rips me out of his arms with a growl and slams his door closed, trapping me with him. My heart is pounding against my ribs. I back away as his large hands fumble with the clasps hiding his face. This feels wrong, I didn't mean to force him to do this. Why is he showing me now? I try to put my hands up to stop him but his accusing eyes keep me from reaching him. He won't be stopped.

As the mask comes off I see scar as deep as a ditch. The right side of his face baring the burden of whatever had happened to him. A deep angry scar follows up the corner of his mouth taking a good chunk of his right cheek. Craters peppered the outside of the scar where crude stitches had been placed. His nose is missing and his eyes are full of deep sorrow and regret.

I walk toward him slowly and put my head on his chest, I don't try to hide how my voice wavers.

"You don't deserve to be hurt, Thomas. Don't expect me to hurt you. I stand by my word, you're handsome to me." I hear a whimper before the air is forced out of my body from his grip. My back pops loudly before he lets me go but we both just stand there for a bit.

The baby in the next room wails, waking up alone in its holder. I look up at Thomas. Feeling brave, I slowly reach for his face. He flinches but stops as I rub my thumb against his stubble.

"I'm gonna go pick up the baby. You can stay here and breathe for a bit okay?" His eyes bore into mine before he lets me leave the room..

I let the breath I was holding go. My soul feels light and heavy at the same time when that wretched lock clicks behind me. I made progress, I'm forgiven and I shouldn't expect more than that. Touching his face was a bold and stupid move but I proved my point.

I pick up the baby with a soft grunt and head downstairs, his wailing softening to a disgruntled, occasional squeal. Henriette takes him with a polite, thin lipped smile. I count that as progress too.

Everyone looks at me as I sit down and put my head in my hands. Luda squeezes my shoulder and I sigh.

"We're fine now. It was a misunderstanding is all. He'll be a bit, dunno how long..." Auntie Tea smiles at me.

"He's always been a sweet boy. He'll be back to his old self before dinner, I promise." She pours me another cup of tea. Nubbins giggles nervously.

"Tommy has a sweet tooth, we'll just have Drayton bring home cake from the gas station!" Luda smiles at Nubbins.

"Smart boy, I'll go ring him up right now." She shuffles into the living room, leaving the rest of us to sit in silence. I hope things are as alright as they seem.

Thomas POV

I hear a soft knock on my door. I don't want to see anybody.

"Thomas?" I grunt. I want her to go away, even if the thought makes my heart hurt. "Can I come in? I wanna talk to you. If that's okay with you." I press my lips and swing open the door, giving her my meanest look. Everyone always runs from me when I make my mean face, even Hoyt. She should be no different.

She shrinks into herself and hands me my old notepad and pencil. I snatch it from her. Stubborn woman has no sense of self preservation. I use my old door as a desk, she was making fun of me. I know she was. I'm not handsome, I'm a freak, a monster. My scars ache as memories come flooding in. I hand her the note and watch her face scrunch up in offense. So she's a liar too.

"THOMAS! I have never made fun of you a single time! Everything I say is honest!" I pause. She hardly ever called me by my real name. I was Tommy to her, always. I won't be fooled, I won't be hurt, not by her. She's a liar, I know it. They all lie. The doctors lied, the cops lied, and that nurse lied. I throw the paper on the bed and attempt to give her a piece of my mind. The only sounds that comes out is not even coherent to myself. Not with my frustration, not with my injury. I'm not calm enough to talk right now.

She gasps at me, slapping the notepad out of my hand. I can only stare her down for her offence, hoping she leaves on her own. Her shirt pattern is so pretty...WAIT! I slap myself mentally. Focus. Her shirt may be pretty but her lies are cruel!

"You best be happy you're mute 'cause that sounded like some mean sass comin' from you!" I scoff, this girl is ridiculous. I snatch the notepad off the bed and begin writing. I KNEW what she thought, she couldn't lie to me, I ain't that stupid.

I shove the note in her face and her face falls and she looks at me, her eyes are so sad. Why is she sad? Suddenly she shoves all her weight into you. She's....hugging me? Her skin is so soft. So clear. It makes me jealous. It makes me sad.

If she were anyone else I'd steal it for myself. I'd make her sorry for her cruelty. Instead, I accept the apology. I still don't like that she joked like that.

"Thomas Hewitt you are the handsomest man I have ever known. You're strong and honest, and you work hard..." NO, NO, SHE'S LYING SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE! SHE'S A LIAR!

Without thinking I fumble with the clasps of your mask with shaking fingers. She looks scared, good. If she runs away I can cut her down like I did the rest of them! The air feels foreign against your nose and cheeks.

She isn't running, she just looks so sad. What are you going to do if she cries? What will Mama do if she figures out you made Bo cry? She walks toward me and I feel panic build in my chest. What is she going to do? What are you going to do?

I feel her face press into your chest and sigh, as if she just laid in bed after a long day. My whole body feels hot and my chest feels tight.

"You don't deserve to be hurt, Thomas. Don't expect me to hurt you. I stand by my word, you're handsome to me." She sounds like she's going to cry and I whimper, trying to swallow as my throat clenches. I lick my lips. I want to kiss her face. Her soft skin would feel so nice if I did, but I don't. It wouldn't be proper. Instead, I squeeze her until I hear her poor back pop in protest. Both of us just stand there, staring at each other.

Baby Jedediah cries out in the next room and I count my lucky stars. I couldn't take any more sweet touches and words. I'd go insane. But the way she looks at me, REALLY looks at me makes me feel like a person. I don't always get to feel that way. Mama tries but I still see the way her eyes trace where she sewed up my face. I do feel handsome, despite it all. I want to get lost in her eyes forever and feel these feelings. To be beautiful in my own skin.

"I'm gonna go pick up the baby. You can stay here and breathe for a bit okay?" I nod slowly and watch her leave your room. Letting all those good, overwhelming feelings go with her.

After locking the door behind her I rub my face and sigh. Lord, baby Jesus, I needed to talk to Mama about this. She'll know what to do.