The Kindness of Strangers

Ch. 23 - The Beginning of the End

Mama fainted when we told her the news. Hoyt said he'd sit with her while we waited for news through his radio. I sigh. It all sounded like a bunch of numbers and gibberish I can't understand, but Thomas seemed to nod at each code given over the radio. God, what a mess. I wish this misery would end.

"We've had the dogs go through, lookin' like a 55-A, preserving the scene now." I put my head in my hands and groan.

"Thomas, do you actually know what they're saying?" Thomas shakes his head. I sigh again as I get out of the car. " I'm gonna go ask Hoyt what the hell this code means."

As I creep up the stairway, I hear sobbing. I can see the shadow of Mama flailing and Hoyt holding on to her.

"I CAN'T DO THIS! I CAN'T DO IT! GET OUT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I hold my breath when Hoyt yelps. A vase smashes into the door in front of me. Hoyt runs out of the room with a curse and grabs me as he flees downstairs.

"Anything come through?" Hoyt hisses as he's holding his head. Mama must've got him good.

"Something about a 55-A and preserving the scene." Hoyt curses. "What the hell is a 55-A."

"Homicide. Something like this will be on the news soon so keep the kitchen radio on. We'll turn it off if Luda comes down but otherwise, keep the volume low." I nod. I can hear Monty telling Aunt Tea to spread the news and to have everyone show up at the house as soon as possible. If anyone knew the fastest way to extended family, it was Ms. Tea. She knew where everyone was at all times. Even if you didn't tell her yourself.

I feel like going to the dining room. I need to be away from all this. I don't want to think about it.

I must've dosed off listening to the radio because I startle when Thomas shakes my shoulder. I didn't even see him walk in. Must've been dreaming that I was awake. He shows me his notepad.

"TV is on. Everyone is here." I sigh and go to the living room, where everyone is huddled watching the TV in horror. Before me, I see outdated mugshots of Drayton and Chop Top and a photo of the bastard I shot between the eyes. Drayton looks so young in that photo; his eyes don't look so tired. Tex looks over at me with utter disbelief.

"They said that fuckin' Hartman piece of shit killed Dray and Chop!" Everyone looks at me. I nod.

"Hartman said he did, but he also said Drayton had a grenade so...who knows." Tex shakes his head.

"Well, I'm glad you got that son of a bitch. I wouldn't have been so nice about it, though." I smile in response and excuse myself to sit in the dining room again. There are too many people who look to me for answers, I was there. I should have the answers, but I don't. Monty pops his head in.

"Henriette and Aunt Tea can't make it, the baby got the flu. They said they'll visit once his fever breaks." I nod. Monty pauses in the doorway. "It's not your fault, you know? Mama told me you told them to stay out of trouble. If nothin', you saved Tommy's life." I give him a polite smile, but his sentiment doesn't hit me like it should. Two more of my friends were dead. I just wanted to disappear, for them to be here, or at least one person to be mad at me.

Tex pops his head in.

"Uuuh...Verna said she's sorry for not making it, but she has to settle some things in court early tomorrow morning." I nod. Tex pauses in the doorway and opens his mouth as if to say something. He quickly changes his mind and goes back to watching the news with the others.

Tex comes back but this time with Grandpa in tow. He sits the old man next to you.

"Grandpa's never been the talkin' type. Better to have company than to kill yourself slowly by being alone." Tex gives me a little wink before leaving. I sigh before smiling over at Grandpa.

"Hi, gramps...I can't imagine how you feel right now. I'm sorry." Grandpa looks over at me and nods before laying his hand on mine. The old man doesn't usually move so much so the sheer effort of the sentiment is enough to make my lip wobble. "Oh, gramps, you're gonna break my heart. I gotta be strong for Thomas now, can't let myself break apart just yet." Grandpa hums and looks over at me, rubbing his thumb along my knuckles. The old man won't look away, and I can feel the damn behind my eyes crack. That hot lead ball begins to form in my throat. I press my free hand into my watery eyes as if that alone can't stop the flow of tears.

I can't control myself as my chest heaves with the misery that has become my shadow. Loss is all I've known for the year and some months I've lived with the Sawyers. A million lifetimes couldn't even fade the grief sitting on my shoulders.

"Oh, god. Oh, god, no. Please...please." I hold onto Grandpa's sleeve while the man looks at me with understanding, with empathy. He doesn't say a word, but his eyes tell me everything. He understands the weight upon my chest. The burden of feeling responsible for everyone. To be the boulder for the family. It was a role we cursed ourselves with. We have no one else to blame when all is said in done.
Thomas must've been nearby because he was by my side before I heard him. He cups my face softly and looks at me with worry, his brow furrowed with sorrow. Thomas notices Grandpa holding my hand and kisses the older man on the temple before returning him to the living room with the others. Once he returns, he picks me up gingerly as I hiccup and try my best to keep my fluids off his shirt. I'm sure one more stain won't make a difference, but it's the principle of the matter. The man places soft kisses on my eyelids and my forehead, causing my stress headache to fade away ever so slightly. Just enough that I feel how tired I am. I've been up since before the sun was up, and it's likely close to midnight by now, but I couldn't bare the thought of leaving the family's side during this. Thomas pets my hair and coos at me, my body engulfed by his loving warmth. It's enough to make my eyelids feel like lead.

We pass the family on our way to the stairs, but Hoyt stops Thomas.

"You didn't drug her did ye? She looks like shit." Tex slaps the old man in the chest.

"SHE'S the one that helped everyone know about this before the news got to it, shithead. Let the girl sleep." Hoyt picks up my hand, and I hardly feel the energy to half-heartily wave as a joke. Hoyt nods once he sees I'm coherent. The older man rolls his eyes when Thomas again begins his barrage of soft kisses and cooing.

Thomas's cot has never felt more comfy than it does right now. I sigh and attempt to get up with a groan. Mama would need help cleaning up after everyone left after dinner. Thomas stops me by pushing me back down by my chest. He holds my tired body in place while tucking me in with his free hand.

"Tommy..." I'm shushed softly while the man pets my face. His callouses bring an odd comfort and sense of safety. He could handle the cleaning. He was a butcher after all. "Would you at least sit with me...today was...a lot. A lot for me." Thomas squeezes my hand and gingerly takes his mask off to show me he would stay until I was asleep. I give him a soft smile before closing my eyes. I love him so much.