The Kindness of Strangers

Ch. 25 - The ending (kind of)

Note: This chapter ending is for people uncomfortable with pregnancy and birth. You guys can end the fic here but the chapter after this will be featuring those tropes in the gory, sweaty detail that is TCM.

I open my eyes and look at the ceiling for what feels like the millionth time. I haven't bothered keeping track of how long I've been here. I feel like I'm punishing myself more than giving myself space. I can't have Thomas convincing me that everything is okay. It's not okay. I know that...but I want to feel the peace of mind being in his arms brings. Sleeping alone comes with an emptiness. I never dealt with my friends' deaths, and now I can't bear to be alone. Every time I blink, it's them. Nubbins, flashing his camera my way. Mama brushed the hair out of my face. Drayton, flicking me to get a reaction. My sweet, sweet Thomas's weeping eyes as one of the only people he has left separates from him for the night when he's at his most vulnerable.

I sigh and stare at the door.

The breath in my chest catches when it clicks open. I see the looming figure which I have grown so fond of. Tommy stands there and stares at me, his eyes piercing Cupid's arrow into my soft heart. I move over, pressing myself against the wall. Thomas walks in slowly and closes the door behind him.

At first, he lays with his back to me, letting me press my face against him like we used to.

"Are you here to convince me that everything's okay?" He shakes his head.

"...okay." I find myself wrapping my arms around him with a sigh. We both need this. "You can look at me if you want..."

I giggle when his nightshirt catches, causing him to trip on himself. He looks at me with deep, sad eyes, and I can't help but hold his face. Thomas's lip quivers as he buries his face into the palm of my hand.

"Have you been using the creams Miss Verna bought you?" He nods with a sigh. I know he doesn't like how those creams smell, but they've made his scars less angry and red. Less sensitive. "You're skin looks good." He smiles softly. "Did you mean it?" Tommy locks eyes with me. "When you said you wouldn't do it anymore?" He holds my hands and squeezes, nodding his head vigorously. I smile.

"Did you ever kill people before we met?" He nods. "Is that why you were in the clinic?" He shakes his head. "Was it after?" He shakes his head. "Do you enjoy it?" Thomas looks at me for a while before avoiding my eyes like he's searching for the answer in the room. He shakes his head.

We stare at each other for a while before something catches my eye. His hair is almost down to his shoulders now. I run my fingers through it, gently picking apart the knots. Thomas hums in approval, closing his eyes while I work through each lock. "If you want...I can cut your hair tomorrow." He smiles and nods. Thomas shifts his weight, and the idea of him leaving almost makes me panic. I sigh in relief as he moves his arm to prop himself up. "Tommy." He looks at me, cocking his head to the side. "You can sleep over...if you're okay with that." The man smiles so wide I'm sure it hurts his scars, the way they stretch and struggle against where his dimple should be.

Thomas scoops his hands under me, pulling me closer so I can put my face into his chest and neck.

"I like your new soap. Smells like oranges." He coos lightly, he's always loved flowery fragrances. They remind him of Mama. Oh, mama. I feel my lip quiver and quickly hide my face in Thomas's nightshirt, letting the grief roll over me in cold, agonizing waves.

"I miss them so much, Tommy. I wish I could've done something, anything." Thomas pets my hair, hushing me. I let myself sob until I was worn out, looking at Thomas with a sigh.

"Were you mad at me when I wanted space?" He furrows his brow and shakes his head before pressing his lips to my forehead. I lay my head back on his chest. "I missed you the whole time, but I didn't want to say or do something stupid. I can't act innocent when I've killed people too. Glass houses and all that." Thomas chuckles before leaning over me to open my nightstand drawer. Even just a quarter of the man's weight leaves me feeling crushed. I pinch one of his rolls to defend myself, causing him to squeak and slap my hand away with a giggle. He squints in the dark as he tries to write on a notepad Verna gave me. I look at his crooked writing with a smile.

Cant be mad. Your my hole wurld.

I press the notepad to my chest with a smile. "You always know what to say to make me melt like butter." I hold his face while kissing him, peppering his good cheek and forehead. Thomas squeezes my hand before clumsily wishing me good night. I let myself melt into his arms as I close my eyes. Even if the universe doesn't show me kindness, I know Tommy will.