𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎... // 𝙵𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚗 𝚃𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚜

28

~ Author's Note ~

Ferran so baby in that picture <>

BREAK HER HEART

Jadrien's Perspective

A foolproof plan.

That's what this is.

Intelligence at it's finest.

High IQ here.

I've been trying over and over to talk to Ferran. Trying to figure out what's going on. But nothing has been working, so I came up with this.

I've invited Ferran over to dinner with me and Eric, except really, it's only going to be dinner with me. We're meeting at a restaurant. He thinks Eric is going to be there. He's not. I need to talk one on one with him, so the easiest way to get him alone with me, without any excuses, was to lie to him.

I know I'm obsessive.

I get to the restaurant ten minutes early. Of course, I dolled myself up a little. I want to look nice for him, despite how much I know he couldn't give one crap about it. So I've put on for this dinner a smooth, tight blue dress, a white dress coat, since tonight particularly it's going to be colder once we're leaving, and some sparkling silver earrings. I wait in the restaurant for him, and two minutes before the set time to meet, he walks in. He's wearing his necklace tucked into a white button down, a nice bracelet, and a nice watch. Right away, he sees me, and I walk up to him. "Hey, Ferran," I nod.

He nods back, and asks right away, as I expected he would, "Where's Eric?"

"Just come on to our table," I nod back and start walking, so he naturally follows. 

Once I get to the table, I sit down, and Ferran slowly sits down across from me, before asking slowly, after a second, "So... Where is Eric, then?"

"He's not here."

"Oh...?"

"And he's not going to be."

His eyebrows furrow. "Why not?"

"Because he wasn't invited. He was never going to come, Ferran, because I need to talk to you, but whenever I try, you refuse. I want to talk to you. And get the whole truth from you, for once. That's why I've got you here. So that you can answer my questions. With honesty."

"With honesty. Something that you failed to use in saying that Eric would be here," he says smugly, leaning back and cross his arms, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Fair enough. But don't you understand?"

"Of course I do..."

"Ferran, I'm paying for your dinner, and in exchange, you answer my questions. Money is worth more than words."

"That's a bunch of bulls***," he says bluntly. "Money is not worth more than words, Jadrien, and if you think that, you're the shallowest person I've ever met."

I feel my jaw clench at this. "I just said that because I figured you'd think that."

"Curious the way you love me so much, apparently, at least, and make such an outrageous claim about me at the same time. What does that say about yourself, Jadrien?"

"Can you stop questioning me?"

"Oh, so you're allowed to question me, but I'm not allowed to question you?"

"I just want to know why you're being so cruel to me, Ferran!" I say, swallowing. "That's all I want to know! I just want to... Have a regular conversation with you, okay? I don't know why you're being like this to me lately. I just want to know why."

At this, his eyes slowly soften, and he says, "Listen, Jadrien, it's a lot to... to explain to you."

But then the waitress comes to us, and we quickly figure out what we want to eat and drink, and then order. Once we're finished, I ask gently, "Ferran, I just want to know why. I want to know why the way you treat me is so inconsistent. I just want to know what you really think and feel about me, okay? If you hate me, tell me. I just want to know, Ferran."

Ferran's Perspective

I feel my jaw clench as I look into this woman's light blue sparkling eyes. My eyes travel over her waving light brown hair falling over her shoulders, her arms that are tightly wrapped around her own body, and her bottom red colored lip, which she is chewing nervously as she looks straight back into my eyes. Her hands are folded on the table tightly.

Oh, my God, Jadrien, if only I could really tell you my thoughts.

If only I could tell her every single thing I'm thinking.

If only I could answer all her questions.

But I just don't think I can right now. I can't say something that's just going to break her heart if I even go back on it.

I don't want to tell her what the truth is.

I can't tell her the reason I've been being an idiot to her. I don't want to break this lovely woman's heart.

I've been being an idiot to her because I want her to dislike me. I want her to give up on me. It's like she's never going to stop waiting for me. I don't want her heart to be broken. But the worst part is that all the sudden, I feel like her waiting is paying off. Because tonight she looks beautiful in that dress, with her makeup done like that. It makes me so happy to see her after trainings, always waiting for me, just to simply see me. And I always look forward to simply seeing her, too. I always listen extra hard when Eric or something is telling some story about her as I beat the s*** out of him and Pedri in Parcheesi. 

But I can't tell her this, because what if this little spark in me will pass?

I don't want to break her heart.

I've been acting rude to her for several reasons. One is that I want her to stop liking me. The second is that I want to make sure I don't start liking her. And the third is so she won't suspect, ever, that I like her.

I don't want to break her beautiful, delicate heart. Sometimes she does crazy things for her love, but I understand. She just yearns for something that she's never had. She feels lost and lonely, and deprived of something she needs.

I just wish she could get that thing she needs.

But I just can't be breaking this girl's heart.