𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎... // 𝙵𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚗 𝚃𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚜

30

~ Author's Note ~

Ferran in his Valencia era there.

I got a haircut guys ( I have a super exciting life )

I hope you guys are okay that I'm trying to move this along a little faster. I know you love see you later, but I'm hoping to keep this one under 100 😬😅🙃

ON DIFFERENT PAGES

Ferran's Perspective

"Can you explain to me why?"

"Why what?" I ask with a sigh, leaning back on my coach, staring up at the ceiling. I watch as the fan spins round and round, as if it's never going to stop.

"Why do you think that evening with Jadrien played out like it did, Ferran?" my therapist, Ana, asks softly. She always speaks softly. It honestly kind of drives me crazy, although of course I'm not going to say that. It's probably just her natural way of speaking.

I like the way Jadrien talks. She talks like she means it. Not too loud or quiet. With just enough force to not be bratty. I like her voice. Not to high, but not too low. I like it. I...

I like her.

"I don't know... I still don't really understand that question. How do I even answer that?"

"Alright, then I'll ask you this question instead. How do you feel about Jadrien?"

"I care about her."

"Why?"

"She's sweet. And she cares about me, a lot. I don't want to hurt her, Ana, but I don't know what to do."

"What would you do that would hurt her? If you care about her, why would you hurt her?"

"Unintentionally..."

"Explain that to me."

I sigh, and say bluntly, "I think I have feelings for her."

Ana nods, before saying, "And she has feelings for you? Explain to me why you seem to want to distance yourself from her, then."

"I don't want to give her the hope that I like her."

"But you do like her?"

I nod. "If this feeling passes, because I care about her, I don't want to give her a false hope... But I really want to get closer with her, but I know I can't. So I've been pretending to hate her this whole time for that reason."

Ana nods again. "Can I ask you to consider something?"

Usually when Ana says this, she's about to say something that completely changes my mind. And most of the time, I don't want my mind to be changed, so whenever she says this, I always hesitate before finally accepting to hear whatever she has to say. I sigh. "Alright. What is it?"

"If you were in her shoes, what would you prefer? Would you prefer for your crush to ignore you and avoid you? Or would you prefer to be able to be closer friends with him, even if you know you're always going to stay friends?"

I swallow, shutting my eyes for a few seconds, before saying, opening them, "I would want to be friends."

"You both know how she feels, right? And you want to get closer with her? Just make it clear that for now at least, you just want to be friends. And as you get to know her more, if your feelings grow, then you can decide what you're going to do. There can always be a friendship period, if you don't know if you're ready for dating."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't want to like her more, and if I spend time being her friend, I will like her more."

"Why don't you want to like her more?"

"I don't need love. Not that kind. It will just make things harder."

"With the right person, it actually makes things easier, Ferran. And if you get to know her, don't you think you'll figure out if she's the right one? And if you can't, I always can help you. It seems like your heart is aching because of the lack of her. You want to know her more. Just trust me, Ferran, and give it a shot, alright? Give her a shot. The only way you're going to work through your emotions is doing this. You tend to bury them way too often."

I stare up at the ceiling, trying to think of a way to counter her words once again, but fail to come up with anything.

She's won me over.

And my heart, which yearns to get to know that girl, suddenly feels content. My heart is content, and my mind is just going to have to deal with itself.

Jadrien's Perspective

I feel terrible. That dinner went terrible. I barely understand. I wish I could understand him. I just want to...

I just want to be someone to him.

My heart aches when I think about him.

Now I feel like after that dinner, it would be even more awkward than it regularly is to wait for him after training...

I want to chase after him, but there's no point anymore. I've tried, but I don't understand. So it's time to stop trying and just start crying over him when it gets too lonely again.

Ferran's Perspective

As I walk out, all showered up and dressed, after a sweaty training, as the weather is just getting warmer and warmer once again, I know what I'm going to do. I'm a little nervous, but I'm looking forward to it. I need to do this... I need to deal with this... this... something. This thing that I wouldn't call love... but that is just... something like it. Something like love.

My nerves are high but I'm excited as I walk out, heading down the hall to the parking lot. I'm excited to see her with her wavy brown hair, cute slight pout, and casual cozy outfits. I feel a little smile forming on my face just as I think about these simple thoughts.

I walk out, and towards the car, and even start, "Hey, Ja-"

But then I realise she's not there.

It's just Eric's car.

I exhale slowly, and walk around the car, but it's empty- no one in it. She's no where to be seen.

I feel a sinking feeling, like something is being crushed. Maybe just a little silly hope is being crushed is all.

I sigh, walking back to my own car.

Why doesn't anything work out the way I want it to?