Like You Mean It

30. Cam

Hayden had somehow managed to haul ass fast enough to see us perform. I had no idea how he did it, but he did. And it definitely helped my nerves because I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown seconds before. It definitely hadn't helped that he had said love you and then hung up, leaving me to consider the endless possibilities of what that implied. But all of those anxieties just kind of faded away when I saw him standing there. Not because he had some superpower to take them away or anything, but just because he was there. Just having him there, supporting me from the sidelines, made things easier. He made so many things easier. He made the world light up when he walked into a room.

The performance we put on was the best we had ever done. I could feel it in my bones as my heart was pounding in my chest. It was the best we had ever performed the show and it had sounded fantastic. We marched off to cheers.

"Go see him." Tom started to grab my harness.

"What?" I asked.

"I'll take the drum, go see your boyfriend." He rolled his eyes, "I could see you staring at him during the entire performance, it's a little pathetic."

"Are you sure?" I asked with a grin.

"Yes, go. Before I change my mind." I let him take my drum and harness. I sprinted to where Hayden was in the stands.

He tackled me into a hug, picking me up and pulling me into a kiss, "You did amazing."

"So did you." I grinned, "So freaking fantastic, Hayden. Just like always."

"Do you wanna go somewhere quieter?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

We found a little corner in the stadium under the second level of seats. We sat side by side against the wall.

"So. Love you," Hayden started.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"It just kind of slipped out," He started to explain, "I know we haven't been officially dating for a long time, but I really care about you. You make things feel easier and you light up every room you're in and I just love being around you. And I mean I do...y'know. But it just feels too soon to tack on the 'I' to that because it kind of makes it way too big and formidable when we're just taking things at our own pace. But I do really appreciate and care about you, so it just slipped out because it's so ridiculously easy and perfect and great to love you."

I leaned my head into his shoulder, "I do too. But I do also agree that the 'I' part of it is definitely further down the road. But love you is good."

"Love you is good." I could hear the grin in his voice.

"I feel like all of our really important conversations happen in random corners at band competitions." I laughed.

"Only this one and you technically coming out," He pointed out.

"I really thought you knew." I laughed, "I've been open about it since middle school. Literally everyone in the world knew except you apparently."

"I'm not exactly the most observant person in the world, Cameron. It took me a month to realize you actually liked me!" He exclaimed.

"We're both kind of stupid, aren't we?" I asked.

"Yeah. But I like being stupid with you." He grinned.

"I like being stupid with you too." I leaned my head against his shoulder.

I really did like being stupid with Hayden. Or just being anything with Hayden. He made everything better.

--

Awards started at exactly 8 pm, as promised by the schedule, which was shocking considering that last year the second to last band was marching onto the field at 8 pm. Hayden and I had managed to bribe a few underclassmen to get seats in the top row next to each other. He was tracing circles on my thumb with his, clearly a bit nervous.