Omens In Your Skies

Doubt and Frustration

Without wasting any time I get inside locking the door behind me.

"Evie I'm in the kitchen."

"Okay." My heart aches, I feel defeated and used.

Still leaning back against the door a knock startled me. Gurei is standing there as I open the door.

"I'm sorry, can you blame me for worrying?" He whispers. My heart lifts a bit and I unlock the door fully.

"Come in." I step out of his way.

"Come here." He pulls me to the side and kisses me deeply.

"I'm not using you. Understand?" His voice is stern.

"Yes—I understand." I kissed him again.

"You're going to have to see Mary."

"Great, the wrath of the roommate." He winks at me. We enter the kitchen but Mary's back is turned.

"Mary, we have company." I say leaning in.

"Oh, who?" When she turns around her face drops, but you can tell she gets flustered with him too.

"Evening." She plainly says then turns her attention back to the dishes.

"What are you doing?" She whispers.

"It's fine, I promise." I try to assure her.

Gurei takes my hand and we both go to the bedroom. He takes a seat on my bed looking around. Leaning back on his hands, he closes his eyes, stretching his neck. My insides are on fire watching him.

"Come ere baby." He pats his lap, opening one eye.

Swallowing hard as I walk towards him, I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. I straddle him and his arms wrap around my waist. Then his lips are on my neck and I moan, feeling him get excited beneath me. My thighs tighten around him and he pulls back.

"What's wrong Eve?" He whispers in my ear.

"Y-you overwhelm me." I say quietly, embarrassed at the way he makes me feel.

I'm no stranger to being with a man, I've had non serious and serious relationships, but Gurei is something different entirely. He is an unpredictable wild card, and now I know for a fact he is dangerous but it doesn't scare me. If anything I want him more now. Stuck in thought I chew on my lip and he pulls my attention back to him when his nose brushes mine.

"Let's relax, hmm? I'm sure you're tired from your shift." He lays us back on the bed and sighs.

My mind tries to think of a million things to try to talk about in the silence between us. I trace the scar on my neck gently wondering about the men that barged in on us last time I was with him. What could he have gotten into, or who was mad and why. The guys even talked about me as payment. I shudder at the thought, then notice Gurei watching me.

"W-why were those men after you?" I whisper. His eyes falter as he thinks back to that night.

"I don't want you to worry about those things Eve." He caresses my face.

"You shouldn't have to worry about any of that. You won't be involved. The less you know the better. Understand?"

"B-But I was involved. I had a knife to my throat, Gurei." I hold my neck and look away from his gaze.

"This is why I was hesitant on being here now, with you. It's selfish of me to want you when it puts you in danger. If anything happens to you, it'll be all my fault." I watch his jaw clench and then he takes my hand.

"I cut things off for a reason."

Is he going to leave me again? He's protecting me but I want to be selfish. I wanna say I don't care about getting hurt, but that's just because I don't want him to leave. My heart begins to ache and I'm now at a loss for words even more. Scooting to the edge of the bed I let go of his hand and mine to my chest. My hair obscured my face sliding out from behind my ear. Tears are stinging my eyes, to avoid crying I stand up and look out the window down onto the backyard.

I told him to lie to me. That I didn't care. Now look at me. I take the biggest breath I've taken in a long time and push back my emotions. My eyes cleared and the lump in my throat dissipated. When I see my composed face in the window reflection I finally turn around.

"If you have to go then do it. I see where you're coming from and it's stupid to try and play that I'm ignorant. It'll just get me hurt more, or get me seriously hurt." I grab my pajamas and a towel for the bathroom.

"Eve, please before you." Gurei stands and starts to come towards me. Shaking my head I hold my clothes tighter to my chest and he stops. "

I-I'll just see you around o-okay?"

He nods and clears his throat to say something but stops himself and turns grabbing the door knob.

"Smart girl." He mumbles leaving.

My body is frozen, I'm even white knuckle clenching my stuff in my arms. A laugh comes out, then I start to cry. What the fuck am I doing?! I want to scream, but the better option is to go take a shower like I'd planned. Locking myself in I let myself cry as hard as I want under the hot water.