In Another Life (frerard)

26

~4 months later~

"So Gerard, I know I ask every time, but..." "Yes Margo, there's still been no dreams, not since that night." 

"Do you think that'll change when you back to school." "No, I only go back for one day, to take my finals. I'll be focused on my work. I might not even see him, though I do wish my professors would let me take my final online like have been doing for my other work." 

"I know. It's almost time for you to go. But I want you to know, you can always call me if something happens." "Okay 'mom'." I said mocking her.

"Let's be honest Gerard, I'd be better than your mom." "True." I said giggling as I got up and started out the door. "Bye mother Margo." "Ew Gerard, bye." 

I started my walk back to my apartment. It was shitty and small, but it was mine. I made enough to afford something bigger, but I loved my little studio. It reflected me so well.

Ever since I started my new series "The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys." I've been making pretty good money. But I don't want to show it off. Anything is better than that grotesque hotel room. 

Tonight, I could enjoy a full night of sleep, before tomorrow. Before I have to face him.  

'It's only one class, you don't have to sit near him.' I told myself, as I got in my pajamas and called to order my pizza.

I spent the rest of the night eating my pizza, watching t.v, and planning what I would say if I saw him tomorrow.

Or anyone for that matter, I mean I haven't talked to anyone since the Friday before 'the incident' as Mikey called it. I hope they don't hate me.

I fell deep into a dreamless sleep around 10:30. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just like back when I went to school full time, I was woken up by that god awful alarm. The final wasn't 'till 6pm for some reason only god knew, but I needed time to study.

6 hours 'till I have to see him. 

Him.

I hate him.

I wish he was dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I made my way to school. Coming in right as the final started. I was handed a paper and sat in a seat near no one I knew. Thank god. 

I did a quick 360, just because I wanted to see him doesn't mean anything. I fucking hate him.

Luckily... he was nowhere to be seen. But I met eyes with Hayley, she gave me a sorrowful smile. he must have told them.

I spend the next 2 and a half hours working myself to death on my math final. I'm not coming back here next year, or ever. School's a waste of money and time.

I brought my paper up to the Professor's desk. "Thank's' for a great year, see yah." "Bye Mr. Way. Have a great life." He gave me the same, sad, pitying smile.

What is happening.

Luckily I finished just in time to catch Hayley and Ray.

"Hey guys! Wait up a sec." I ran to catch up with him. "Hey man, how you doing?" Ray questioned patting my shoulder, once again, a pity smile on both their faces.

"Where is he?" "Who?" Ray responded. "Frank..." 

They shot each other a nervous glance.

"Oh Gerard, no one told you. How do you not know?" "What, not know what. What are you guys talking about."

Once again the looking at me like a crying baby. It was sincere this time.

"Guy's what the fuck happened."

"He's gone Gerard." "What do you mean he's gone? Like he moved." "No Gerard."

"What do you mean he's gone, where did he go?"

"He's dead Gerard." 

"What." 

"When?" 

"Why?"

"How?"

"He killed himself Gerard." I watched as Hayley's eyes teared up at the mention of it.

"Did- did no one tell you? Show you the note?" 

"What? No. What note?" "His suicide note Gerard."   

"We assumed that's why you weren't coming to school, because of him." They were kind of right, but not exactly.

"He wrote about you in it. He said he loved you, and he was sorry, and he could never forgive himself and you would live a better life without him in it."

I stood watching them, my mouth agape. 

"Hey man, it's okay." 

It was back. I couldn't feel anything. I was numb, in my head.

"He's not- He wouldn't." 

"I'm sorry Gerard," Hayley hugged me and I just pulled away. 

"I- I need to go."

It's my fault. I wished he was dead. I told him I wanted him to bleed out. I should be the dead one. I need to be the dead one.

I walked home, no feeling's in my whole body.

I sat down at my desk, pulling out a single, lined piece of paper, and began to write.

"Dear Mikey, I never Said I'd lie and wait forever If I died We'd be together I can't always just forget him But she could try At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are never coming home, never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever, ever. Ever get the feeling that you're never all alone? And I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms He dies.

He dies...

He's dead, and it's all my fault. Please don't ever think for even a minute it's because of you. I love you more than anything and you kept me here for longer than I intended. But today, I decided, needed to be my final day.

I need to see him again. And if i'm dead, I can.

You and Pete are the only people I ever considered family, now that you have him. I can leave knowing you're safe and taken care of. You two mean everything to me. You're my last hope for good people on this planet.

Please take care of yourself and don't mourn me. I am much happier this way.

Goodbye Mikey."

I put the pencil down and reached into my desk. Pulling out a razor blade that was kept for emergencies like this.

As I drew the blade down my wrist and watched the blood spill onto my carpet, staining it forever. I muttered the last word's to ever leave the tainted lip's of Gerard Way.

"We'll meet again. In another life."