Why Not Me (why can't it be me?) [Vini & Dalilah]

Kabanata 7

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest as I spotted Mumeee standing just behind the gate, seemingly having been there and listening to our conversation.

Kumurap ako at nag-iwas ng mga mata sa kaniya.

“Are you alright?” she worriedly asked and I nodded my head in reply. “Dal, can we talk? I actually had been meaning to have a word with you.”

I swallowed with difficulty and blinked at the question, then nodded my head again. Mumeee took me by the arm and led me back into the house, guiding me to the kitchen.

“Here, baby. Tikman mo ‘yong cookies na binake ko. That’s cinnamon hazelnut,” aniya. “Your dad and Djordi loved them. They can’t have enough,” she giggled.

Umupo ako sa isang mataas na silya katabi ng kitchen island. Dumampot ako ng isa sa tray at saka kinagatan. When I looked back at Mumeee, she was now intently looking at me.

“How was it?” she asked.

“Masarap po,” walang ganang sagot ko.

Silence enveloped us and I could sense that she couldn’t wait anymore to ask me questions.

“Dal,” she called.

“Po?” I responded hesitantly.

“Hindi ko naman sinasadyang makinig sa usapan ninyo, but I heard what you said to Vini,” sabi niya.

Suddenly, the cookie I was chewing became so hard to swallow.

“Akala ko ba ay siya ‘yong gusto mong maging escort sa debut mo?” she asked more. “Baby, can you tell me what really happened that night in the party?”

I nibbled on my bottom lip, the question caught me offguard. Ayoko na sanang balikan pa ‘yon at gusto ko nang limutin pero mahirap gawin lalo na at sa bawat pagpikit ng mga mata ko ay naaalala ko ‘yon.

“I, I did Kisses wrong, Mumeee,” I confessed.

“Oh, okay. Let me hear the story, baby,” tugon niya.

The recollection of what happened stirred a raw ache in my heart, casting a shadow that threatened to haunt me relentlessly through all the days of my life that laid ahead.

What really had crossed my mind that led me to push Kisses into the pool? Where was that thinking—how I wished I could shoulder at least half of her emotional burden during those tough times in her life? Kahit saang anggulo tingnan ay ako talaga ‘yong may mali at may kasalanan.

Ikinuwento ko kay Mumeee ang buong nangyari, walang labis at walang kulang.

“Dal, do you acknowledge what you’ve done, hmm? May mali ka sa ginawa mo,” aniya.

I pouted my lips as tears threatened to film my sight.

“I know, Mumeee. And I regretted it already. In fact, it was bugging my conscience,” I admitted my wrong. “I am so bad, right? How I wish I did not do that!”