Why Not Me (why can't it be me?) [Vini & Dalilah]

Kabanata 18

For a chilling moment, it felt as though I had encountered the devil himself reincarnated. Besides madness and rage, Ellis’s eyes bore no trace of emotions, sending shivers down my spine, filling me with dread fear, gripping my very soul. Malayong-malayo roon sa mabait na lalaking unang nakilala ko. Para bang nakatingin ako ngayon sa ibang tao.

“Ellis,” I called, my voice trembling with a blend of terror and desperation. But more than fearing my own life, I feared the life of the baby inside my tummy. “Let me go! Please! Don’t hurt me! I’m pregnant,” I begged once again as fat tears pooled in my eyes.

His hand, which was around my neck, shook before he finally loosened his hold. Gasping for air, I pressed myself more to his car, desperate to put distance between us even if only by a few inches. The fear I was feeling was inexplicable, overwhelming. And when he attempted to reach out again, I recoiled violently.

“No! Don’t touch me!”

He pulled away and blinked his eyes rapidly like he had been knocked back to his senses. “I, I am sorry, Dal,” sabi niya at sa isang iglap ay biglang balik na siya roon sa dating maamo niyang itsura, like he had already mastered the art of changing emotions with the flip of a switch. “I didn’t mean to say that, or to scare you. But this is your fault! You made me worried about you!”

Napaawang ang bibig ko sa kaniya, sa sinabi niya, hindi siya mapaniwalaan. Kasi ako pa talaga ‘yong may kasalanan? Alam kong umalis ako nang walang paalam, pero hindi ‘yon dahilan para gawin niya ito sa akin! At anong nangyayari sa kaniya? Bakit biglang nagkakaganito siya?

He tried to touch me again but I quickly pushed away from leaning against his car, my whole body shaking in fear.

“I’ll c-call our driver to fetch me. You need to cool down, Ellis,” sabi ko at saka sa nanginginig na kamay ay hinanap ‘yong cellphone ko para tawagan ‘yong driver namin.

Halos mapatili ako at muntik ko pa ngang mabitiwan ‘yong cellphone ko nang humawak siya nang mariin sa braso ko, inilayo ‘yong cellphone ko na inilagay ko sa tainga, at saka bumulong.

“Put that phone back in your bag. You are not calling anyone because I am sending you home,” he said with intent warning in his voice.

Scared of what he could possibly do to me and my baby, I reluctantly complied and slid into his car. Panay ang sorry niya sa akin habang nasa biyahe kami pero panay din ang sisi niya na kasalanan ko raw kung bakit sumabog ‘yong galit niya. Meanwhile, I found myself unable to speak, sitting rigidly in my seat, hesitant to make even the slightest movement, kahit nga ang huminga ay takot na takot ako. Pakiramdam ko, kapag gumawa ako kahit katiting na kilos ay sasaktan niya ako.

Pasimple akong humawak sa tiyan ko at humaplos doon, umaasa na hindi nararamdaman ng baby ko ‘yong matinding takot ko. I still could not believe that the man in the driver’s seat who used to be kind to me, could be capable of this.

“I hope you won’t tell anyone else about what happened, especially not your parents. If you do, I could easily ask my parents to take back their help. Remember that your company needs us,” he said, his voice carrying a threatening tone.