De Silva Series 1: Shy to you [On-going]

38| Dream

"Theon." Bulong ko at hinanap siya ng nanlalabo kong mga mata, I was feeling dizzy because of sleepiness that I couldn't open my eyes clearly. But I felt my left hand locked between his warm hands. I looked at the clock and it was 3 a.m. already.

Sinapo ko ng kanang kamay ko ang aking noo at bumangon. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, I wonder if this is still a dream, but this one-parang totoo siya. "Is this the effect of liquor?" Daing ko habang hinihilot ang sentido.

I looked at my left side and tried to remove my hand from his. "Theon." I whispered. He was sitting at a chair while his head was placed on the bed. I tried to caress his hair but he suddenly woke up. "Mi Señora, please take a rest. Do you feel nauseous?" I shook my head. "I was... My head is kinda-"

He seated on the side of my bed and placed his finger on my temple and gently massaged it. Nangilid agad ang luha ko sa hindi malamang paraan ng magtama ang mga mata namin. I tried to cup his face with my hands, traced every part of his face and when my fingers went to his lips, my tears fell along with my heart.

Suddenly, all the memories popped in my mind. All those places and comforts that he introduced to me. Why do I miss you so much Theon? That was the question and I knew the answer well. It was

"Hin...hindi ko alam na magiging ganito pala ka totoo ang isang panaginip...isang panaginip na gusto ko sanang mangyari sa totoong buhay." I stammered. He immediately wiped my tears that are flowing endlessly.

Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko, dahil hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko sakaling magising ako sa panaginip na ito. "Mi Señora," He called me and once again, I felt his familiar embrace that I would be longing for. Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit.

"Ayoko...ayokong mawala ka ulit." Hikbi ko at naramdaman ang pagsuklay niya sa buhok ko gamit ang kaniyang kamay. Lalo lamang bumuhos ang aking luha at sumakit ang gilid ng aking mga mata.

"Theon, you told me... you told me that you love me. Please, prove it to me...prove it to me by staying with me. I know that this is a dream," I pleaded but he remained silent.

"Pero mas gugustuhin kong hindi na magising, basta...basta makasama lang kita."

"Ame-"

"Alam ko! Alam kong ayaw mong, ayaw mong gawin ko ang mga bagay na ikamamatay ko. Pero Theon, ikaw na ang buhay ko. At nawala yon nung nawala ka!" Kakalas na sana siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin pero hindi ko siya binitawan.

"Amy-"

"Mahal kita Theon! Kung gusto mo, uulitin ko, uulitin ko para sa'yo. Mahal na mahal kita, gustong gusto kita. Handa akong harapin ang lahat ng kadiliman at kamatayan kasama ka." I closed my eyes and said it all.

"Tapos ka na?" Natahimik ako sa tanong niya at napakalas ng yakap. Nang makita ko naman ang luhaan niyang mga mata ay hinawakan kong mulit ang mukha niya. "Mi Amor, forgive me for doing those to you-"

"I don't need it! What I need is you Theon, only then can I really forgive you. But what can I do, isa lang naman itong panaginip na parang totoo." Malungkot kong sabi at hindi na tumigil pa ang agos ng luha ko.

"I regret leaving you. I regret everything." Nagtatakha ko siyang tiningnan.

"Ano...anong ibig mong sabihin?" I asked.

"But I would regret it even more if you died because of me, it was my oath since I was a child. That is to keep you alive and protect you until my last bullet, last page and last breath. Because you are my heart and my soul that made me live and swear an oath to protect."

"Hinding hindi kita maiintindihan Theon, ang gusto ko lang ay makasama ka habang buhay. Pero iniwan mo ko! Sinubukan kong sundan ka! Pero pinigilan mo parin ako sa huli. You stopped me from killing myself because your sacrifices would be in vain! And I hate it too!" Naramdaman ko naman ang antok at lalong pagkahilo.