all jung wooyoung ever wanted was to go about life like he always did, and that worked for him; until the top-tier celebrity choi san was in the picture, that is.
but there was a catch; wooyoung was his anti-fan.
start: august 9, 2023
end: septembe...
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"it still feels like a dream," yeosang said, elbow propped up on the coffee table with his chin resting on his palm. "i mean, choi san?"
"can you focus on the problem here?" wooyoung groaned.
it was early into the evening when he'd gone over to yeosang and yunho's place, unable to find anybody else that he could confide in. things between him and san were still weary and uncertain.
yeosang crossed his arms. "isn't he a celebrity, though? i'm sure he's had people tell him things at least ten times worse than what you said. shouldn't he be used to it by now?
"still, just because he's a celebrity, it doesn't mean he's not a human being with feelings. and is wooyoung just anybody? they're somewhat close to each other. it's obviously going to hurt him if wooyoung says insensitive shit like that, even if he was drunk while doing it." yunho reasoned. his words were like salt on wooyoung's wounds, further worsening his guilt. he really wasn't in the position to complain and be selfish, though.
"even then, how could you punch him?" yunho continued, peering down at wooyoung with a comical expression. "he's a celebrity for fuck's sake."
"he's not untouchable just because he's a celebrity," yeosang rolled his eyes. "but did you really have to call him a pervert? just how much did you drink?"
keeping his worries to himself would've been a better decision than choosing to confide in these two. wooyoung already felt horrible like he'd rolled in mud after a heavy rain and they were just making matters worse.
"they say your true colors come out when you're drunk," yunho chimed in, shifting his gaze to the television screen. "so now he clearly thinks that's how you actually feel about him."
wooyoung dropped his head onto the coffee table and groaned. thanks to a few drinks and a mishap, san now believed that wooyoung saw him as a terrible, perverted actor. yeosang sighed from next to him, shoving a handful of salted peanuts into his mouth. "look, instead of moping around like this and being miserable, why don't you go talk things out with him?"
yunho nodded. "no surprise plans and gifts will make him feel better if what hurt him is your words. just go over there and apologize genuinely."
"how am i supposed to do that?" wooyoung whined helplessly. he was never good with his words because he'd never faced a situation similar to this one.
yunho shrugged. "we can't really help you with that, so you deal with it on your own. but i'm kinda curious," he said dubiously, "what are your feelings for him? i mean, you clearly hate him as an actor and a person, then what's with all the... you know, romantic aspects of it? is this like an enemies with benefits thing?"
"i don't hate him." wooyoung defended uncertainly. san had gone from his sworn enemy to a person that was intimate with him whenever he wanted overnight, and wooyoung really didn't know what he felt about it. he'd started to enjoy san's presence and he was even fun to talk to. besides, san was always nice to him and cared for him. but wasn't that just, human decency?
"those things are not important," yeosang stated annoyedly in response to yunho. "it's not like woo wants something serious with him anyways. the dude's leaving soon, so let them have their fun until it lasts."
yeosang's words stuck to him like gum on the heel of his shoe. it was all that wooyoung could think about on the way home. he'd never really thought about things that far into the future. of course, starting something serious with a celebrity, especially one of choi san's status, would only end up badly. and wooyoung wasn't particularly excited about potentially being a crying, heartbroken mess. hongjoong's messy relationship had shown him exactly why it was never good to commit to someone to that extent. it wasn't that he doubted his own loyalty; wooyoung just didn't want to get hurt.
no matter how much he wanted to experience love, if it was really going to do him more harm than good, then wooyoung would rather stick to his mundane life. maybe it was good that san was a celebrity out of everything. he wouldn't want to start something serious with wooyoung either, because it would obviously be detrimental to his reputation. popular figures in the country were always strict about their no-dating policies and san was obviously no different.
thinking about his relationship with the actor always ended up making wooyoung confused. there were no words in the dictionary to label their peculiar bond, and maybe that was for the better. when san was gone, wooyoung wouldn't lose his mind being saddened over a feeling he never gave a name to.
by the time he was back in the apartments, wooyoung was disheartened and confused. why did san give him so much to think about all the time? it was such a nuisance. he hesitated in front of san's door before knocking. it was hardly 9, so there was no way he'd gone to bed.
san opened the door after a few seconds. he was wearing a grey hoodie paired with black sweatpants, his black hair a rumpled mess. the expression on his face dropped to indifference upon seeing wooyoung. "wooyoung," he said, "what is it?"
wooyoung's guilt didn't magically make him any better with his words. knowing he wasn't deep enough as a person to give comforting words, he resorted to the next best thing and wrapped his arms around san's shoulders, engulfing him in an apologetic hug. "i'm really sorry," he mumbled into his shoulders. san stiffened up at the action but quickly warmed up, his arms still at his sides.
"you're really brutal with your honesty when you're drunk, you know," san commented, finally revealing his feelings. he pulled back and framed wooyoung's face in his hands. "but i'll forgive you. 'cus you're a cute drunk."
he had a genuine smile on his face and wooyoung smiled back at him, relieved that he was forgiven, meaning he didn't have to cling onto the guilt of being an asshole any longer.
"i pity whoever got on your bad side in high school. your fist is no joke," san continued. wooyoung chuckled at the comment, watching as san went to close the door behind them.
"wait. it's getting late," wooyoung held san by his arm, peering down at his smartwatch. "i should probably head home. i'll see you tomorrow, hm?"
there was a dejected look on san's face as he looked at wooyoung, his hands in his pockets. wooyoung raised his eyebrows at him. "is everything okay?"
