Selfish Appetite [5 Seconds of Summer]

[26]

"Who will you be, when we meet each other again?"

- -

Sloan

I have debated this matter before. Morality—who decided what is right and wrong? Who set the standards, and how do we justify labeling someone as immoral?

When it comes to actions like killing, judgment seems simpler. The loss of human life is, arguably, the most significant loss we can experience. Without life, this conversation itself is meaningless.

But even in this category, there are gray areas.

If someone kills their tormentor in self-defense, the lines begin to blur. Judgment is no longer immediate; it demands consideration.

Circumstances, intent, and consequence tangle together, making morality a murky concept rather than a fixed rule.

If it's your life against someone else's, what do you do?

You fight.

In that moment, morality be damned.

"I think we like to play judge and jury because it takes the focus away from our own sins." I say, my voice carrying more conviction than I expected.

Across from me, Alex nods, setting down his tablet before wrapping his hands around his mug of hot cocoa.

The steam curls up toward his face, but he doesn't take a sip just yet.

The sight reminds me of my own abandoned cup, forgotten and cooling fast. I pick it up, wrapping my fingers around the ceramic, chasing its fading warmth.

"Do you think you have sinned?" he asks, his tone curious, but the question itself feels heavier—almost religious in nature.

"What constitutes a sin?" I counter. "Because if you ask some people, the fact that I've had premarital sex is already enough to damn me. What kind of sins are we talking about here?"

Alex tilts his head slightly, considering. "Okay, fair point. Let me rephrase. Do you ever worry that you've done something... wrong? By your own definition?"

Outside, the rain intensifies, drumming steadily against the windowpanes. A gust of wind rattles the branches of a nearby tree, causing them to scrape against the glass.

The lights flicker for a brief second, and Alex exhales sharply, muttering something about the building's maintenance under his breath.

I take a sip of cocoa, letting the richness coat my tongue before answering.

"No, not really." I admit. "But I do worry about being unfair to people. About hurting them." I pause, glancing down at my mug. "It used to be an overwhelming insecurity. But I've grown enough to understand that I can't—and shouldn't—control other people's emotions. Pain is inevitable. It's how we grow."

Alex nods again, a quiet understanding in his gaze.

"How's your stress compared to the end of summer? And fall?" he asks.

"If you're asking about the vomiting, that hasn't happened in a while." I set my mug down. "That situation has been managed."

His eyes narrow slightly. "What situation? You mean Luke?"

"Yes." I say, exhaling softly. "Our friendship has moved past petty, childish nonsense. We're really close now. Even when one of us is being an unbearable idiot, even when we fight, we know the friendship is solid. It's always here. No matter what." I pause before adding, "What happened with Ian brought us closer."

"That's a good friendship to have." his voice is warm, sincere.

I smile. "It is."

A beat of silence settles between us, filled only by the sound of the rain. Then, with a knowing look, Alex leans forward slightly.