Selfish Appetite [5 Seconds of Summer]

[41]

"Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about."
- -

Sloan

"She's clearly in denial. Don't humor her." Mina tells Ash, her voice tinged with playful skepticism.

I chuckle, shaking my head. "I'm not. I'm back, I'm better. I'm not in denial about anything. I'm moving on." I shrug and take a slow sip from my beer, letting the bitterness settle on my tongue.

The familiar hum of the bar surrounds me—the low buzz of conversation, the occasional burst of laughter, the clink of glasses meeting in toasts.

It's comforting, in a way I hadn't realized I missed. I scan the room, letting my gaze wander over the well-worn booths, the dim lighting that casts everything in a golden glow, the scuffed wooden floors that have felt the weight of our worst nights and our best.

It wasn't until I stopped coming here that I truly understood what this place meant to me.

We found it during our freshman year. A hole-in-the-wall bar with cheap drinks, but it became ours. It became home.

Successes, failures, heartbreaks, love and loss—Michael, Ally, Mina, and finally me.

This bar has been both a refuge and a celebration. Ally wasn't wrong when she said our bodies would forever be imprinted on our booth.

This place is square one of our friendships. It's where Michael fell for Mina, deeper with each passing day, and where Ally and I first noticed—long before Mina ever did.

It's where we complained about life, about the world, about things that felt insurmountable at the time but, looking back, were just stepping stones to where we are now.

It's where Mina reunited with Ed on that godforsaken night.

It's where I met Luke.

It's where I met Calum.

It's where Luke and I talked for hours, debating, laughing

It's where I told him about Ian. It's where Ian punched him for the first time—for standing up for me. It's where I fell for him even more.

It's where we fought. Where I walked away from him. Where I watched him bring date after date, pretending it didn't matter.

It's where Calum kissed me for the first time, setting off one of the most thrilling and complicated chapters of my life.

This bar will be what I look back on when I'm old and wrinkled—if dementia doesn't get to me first.

This bar holds within it both the best and worst years of my life.

"Good for you, babe." Ally says, smiling as she clinks her bottle against mine. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you." I grin, snapping out of my trance, grounding myself in the present.

"So what happens now exactly? Do we all collectively just not talk about it?" Mina asks, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Give her something." Ash says, amused. "She needs a rule."

I laugh because he's right—Mina needs structure, even in things as unpredictable as human emotions.

"I guess." I say, noncommittal.

Michael, who's been uncharacteristically quiet, finally speaks up. "What about when Luke shows?"

The question lingers in the air for only a moment before Calum mutters, "Yeah, I don't think that's happening anytime soon." He stirs his drink absently, as if the motion itself could dissolve the tension in his voice.

"Really?" Mike's voice drops slightly, and his eyes flick toward the door. "Because he just walked in."

For a moment, I panic. It's been months since I last saw him—since November. Stress and nerves are expected, but not like before. Not like they used to be. I force my focus onto my drink, wondering how this will play out.