Selfish Appetite [5 Seconds of Summer]

[41]

"Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about."
- -

Sloan

"She's clearly in denial, don't humor her." Mina tells Ash, and I chuckle.

"I'm not. I'm back, I'm better. I'm not in denial about anything. I'm moving on." I shrug, taking a sip from my beer.

Every now and then, I steal glances from around the bar, having missed it tremendously. It wasn't until I stopped coming, that I realized how big a role this place has played in my life over the past few years. 

We found it during our freshman year.

Successes, failures, heartbreaks, love and loss- Michael, Ally, Mina and finally me. This bar has been both our place to celebrate and hide. Ally was not wrong when she said our bodies will forever be imprinted on our booth. 

This place is square one of our friendships. It's where Michael fell in love with Mina, harder and harder with each day that passed. It's where Ally and I realized Mike was in love with Mina- but Mina had no clue. 

It's where we complain about life. About the world. 

It's where Mina reunited with Ed on that godforsaken night.

It's where I met Luke.
It's where I met Calum. 

It's where Luke and I talked for hours, debating, laughing, betting on tequila shots. It's where I told him about Ian. It's where he got punched by Ian the first time, when he stood up for me. It's where I fell for him even more. It's where we fought, where I walked away from him, where I watched him bring date after date. 

It's where Calum kissed me for the first time, thus starting one of the most thrilling and complicated periods of my life. 

This bar is what I will look back to, when I'm old and wrinkly- if dementia hasn't caught up with me. 
This bar contains within it, the worst and best years of my life. 

"Good for you babe." Ally smiles, clinking her bottle with mine. "I'm proud of you."
"Thank you." I grin widely, snapping out of my trance. 

"So what happens now exactly? Do we all collectively just not talk about it?" Mina stresses and Ashton chuckles.

"Give her something, she needs a rule." Ash nods and I laugh, knowing how Mina needs to have certain guidance when it comes to confusing social situations, to avoid any awkwardness.

"I guess." I only say.

"What about when Luke shows?" Michael then asks.

"Yeah, I don't think that's happening any time soon." Calum mumbles, stirring his drink.

"Really? Because he just arrived and is coming here." Mike says in a low voice.

Momentarily, I panic. I haven't seen him since November, some stress and nerves are to be expected, but not to the extent it used to be. I just keep my eyes on my drink, and wonder how this will play out.

"Hey." Luke utters, sitting down next to Ashton.

A chorus of greetings echoes around the table, including my own. I don't want to be rude, so I just say hello, even if it's causing me a little discomfort. A little heartache.

I see Mina is practically having an aneurism from the awkwardness, and suppress a sigh.

Calum notices and slides his drink over to me, since my beer bottle had emptied. I accept gratefully, welcoming the higher volume of alcohol in my blood stream.