Selfish Appetite [5 Seconds of Summer]

[47]

"Last Call for boundaries."

- -

Sloan

I was convinced this was a bad idea from the start, even as Ally was filling me in over the phone. But here I am, standing at the entrance of the bar, looking at my friends like I'm supposed to feel excited.

Ashton had appointed our usual bar as point zero of tonight's festivities.

"You coming?" Calum calls over his shoulder, a small smirk pulling at his lips as he pulls the door open wider.

"Of course." I reply, even though I'm already regretting this.

The bar is crowded and warm, the lights are dimmed to the point that it's hard to tell if it's night or morning. The air smells like beer and sweat.

People are laughing, talking, and the sound system is playing a generic pop-punk tune.

But none of that helps me forget the one person in this group I'm trying to avoid.

Luke is standing near the far side of the room, talking to Micah, the bartender. I can't help but notice the way his shoulders are tensed, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets.

Like he's trying to seem casual, but isn't fooling anyone, especially not me.

I push my way past the others, ignoring the ache in my chest. It's not about him, not tonight.

We've all agreed to this bar crawl to get away from the heavy tension that's been building in the group, mainly -if not only- because of me and Luke.

The plan is simple: hit five bars in five hours and pretend like everything is fine.

Bar One

The first stop is a small, dimly lit bar tucked into the corner of an alley.

It's a classic dive-wooden floors that creak, a jukebox in the corner playing a mix of old rock songs, and a bartender that looks like he's been working here longer than any of us have been alive.

I'm nursing my drink at the bar when Calum sits next to me.

"Hey." he says with a grin, his arm draping around my shoulders, "You're too quiet tonight. What's up?"

I lay my head on him and close my eyes. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"I'm not buying that. You've been all broody for a few days now. Need some distraction?"

I roll my eyes, but my lips twitch into a smile despite myself. "What are you offering?" I pretend to take the bait, trying to make my voice a little sultry.

Calum's eyebrows shoot up in surprise and astonishment.

"What are you giving?" he plays along.

"Advice." I muse with a smile, "Don't knock on old doors. It's going to get messy."

Calum's eyes hold a knowing glint that has me wondering if he's thinking about our past right now.

The way he'd hold me as we lay naked on my bed, after having sex for hours into the night, the way he'd make me breakfast the next morning, waking me up with his face between my thighs. The way he gave me something I didn't even know I needed.

All the moments we gave up when I admitted to the world I was in love with Luke Hemmings.

How ironic is it, that admitting I'm in love is the reason for my current dry spell?

God, I miss sex. I miss the simplicity of one person being there for me without all the hurt and abandonment.

"I like messy." he shrugs, looking down at me.