Selfish Appetite [5 Seconds of Summer]

[14]

"Great feelings take with them their own universe, splendid or abject."

- -

Sloan

"Ally?"

I stare at the ceiling, letting my feet dangle off the bed, feeling the weight of the day settle into my bones.

A rustling comes through the phone, followed by some feedback, distant background chatter, and the tap of keys as Ally returns, taking me off speakerphone.

"Sorry, Slo." she mumbles into the receiver, her voice quieter now, "my intern's a dumbass."

"Fire him?" I half-joke, earning a brief chuckle from her.

"I will not fire someone who does this for free. That would make me the dumbass."

Somewhere in the background, a printer jams, followed by a string of curses that sound like Ally's breaking point.

I bite my bottom lip to stifle a laugh.

"Goodness, I'm going to become a murderess." she mutters, and I hear the fake smile in her voice, the one she uses when she's trying to avoid confrontation.

A moment later, a voice I assume is the intern apologizes for the printer mishap, and she dismisses him with a weary sigh.

"I need a drink." she deadpans, her exhaustion seeping through the line.

"I need ten." I joke, turning onto my back on the bed.

"Why? Because Luke saw you hurl?" she teases, and I can almost hear her smirk.

"What an experience that was." I mutter dryly, the memory of it still vivid as it was a week ago. 

I place a hand on my stomach, twisting the fabric of my shirt between my fingers as I watch the creases form.

"That whole night feels like a fever dream now." she exclaims, clearly still processing.

"First with Edward's messed-up court case, then Luke with his questions about unethicality? Tip that with everything we drank? What the hell was that about, anyway?" she rambles, reminding me of the painful details I've been trying to shove away. 

"He's being bitter because I kissed Calum." I admit, biting my lip in frustration.

"You what?" Ally's voice is a mix of disbelief and shock, so loud I have to pull the phone away for a second.

"It was a little before Ed's client's bar." I explain, shrugging as if it's nothing—when it feels like everything.

"I didn't know you liked Calum." she observes, clearly taken aback.

After Ian my friends were very well aware of my disdain toward the dating pool. To mention kissing someone so hastily and suddenly- I understand Ally's stance, is what I mean. 

"I didn't either." I say, the words slipping out with more confusion than conviction. "It's complicated."

The sound of rustling on her end catches my attention, and I can practically hear the crunch of chips. Definitely basil and tomato. 

We fall into a comfortable silence. I let my eyes wander around the room, landing on a spiderweb in the far corner of the ceiling. From somewhere inside our house, I hear Alice vacuuming, humming off-key.

A smile tugs at my lips despite everything.

"Alice wants me to go with her to Luke's tonight." I sigh, the weight of it already starting to settle.