Selfish Appetite [5 Seconds of Summer]

[31]

"If only I could rewind time on the day I started loving you. I would have asked myself to stop."

- -

Sloan

I watch in a daze as a red ribbon, tied to a balcony railing, twists and flutters ceaselessly in the wind. The movement is mesmerizing, almost hypnotic, and for a moment, I let it lull my thoughts into stillness.

From the main road beyond the building, the sharp growl of motorcycle engines pierces the air, indifferent to the silence they shatter.

Inside, the hum of a small fan atop Alex's desk spins lazily on its lowest setting, offering only the faintest whisper of relief against the unseasonable heat.

Though spring lingers, today feels like the prelude to summer.

Without thinking, I tuck my knees to my chest, resting my chin atop them as I meet Alex's gaze.

"Did you know that, during the Victorian era, it was common to photograph loved ones after they died?" I muse, my voice quiet but steady.

He blinks, then smirks. "I did not know that. That is interesting and only slightly morbid."

I smile. "People would dress their deceased relatives in their finest clothes, pose them to look lifelike, and take their final portrait. It was their way of preserving one last image."

Alex nods, an expression of recognition crossing his face. "I think I saw that in a documentary recently."

His next question comes without warning. "How's Mina?"

I falter for half a second, caught off guard. I haven't talked about Mina much lately.

"As well as she can be, considering the circumstances." I say with a small shrug. "She's trying her best and we're all there for her while she goes through the motions."

"I'm glad." he nods, then tilts his head. "And your anxiety attacks?"

I exhale slowly. "Better. It's been a few weeks since my last one. Ever since the trial ended, I've been good."

"And your stress levels?"

"Manageable." I stretch my legs slightly, letting my arms rest loosely around them. "I pace myself now, take breaks. I've set some much-needed boundaries with my boss, and honestly? It's been good."

Alex studies me for a beat before pressing on. "What about outside of work?"

I already know where he's going with this.

"You mean Luke." I sigh, glancing away. "Things are... normal. We're good. He's dating Ashton's friend, and everyone is just fucking amazing."

Alex raises an eyebrow.

I huff a quiet laugh, shaking my head. "I'm just bitter. She's really nice, and Luke seems happy."

Alex doesn't let it go. "And you? Are you happy?"

My gaze drifts toward the framed certificates above his head, the tiny letters blurring as I pretend to read them.

"I'm stable." I offer.

"But are you happy?"

"I guess." I shrug. "The group is good, Mina is better, my grandma is off in some dreamy place with Tony, and work is going well."

Alex tilts his head slightly. "That's everyone but you."

"I told you about work." I counter.

"You're not your work, Sloan." his tone is firm, but not unkind.