Jilted

A thought of longing

Although hanging out with him made me feel much better. Still, I cannot sleep. I wish to hear his voice once more today. I know it's so selfish.

I am fighting every part of me not to text him and ask him to call. I have to take it slow I know. But I miss him so much. I just want to hear him one more time. I have taken more pills, hopefully, I can get some rest.

I fell asleep watching YouTube. It wasn't for long and I have tried to go back, but no I just keep thinking of him. Since I have spoken to him, I have not cried.

I don't understand how people can do this. How he can do this? How he is so fine. How he can fall asleep easily. I think all I want is to hear him say goodnight. Would it be wrong of me to call and ask it of him? I feel so incomplete without talking to him at the end of my days.

And what of tomorrow? Will he make time for me tomorrow like he did today? Should I ask? What should I do? Why cannot I not talk to him as easily as before? I miss him so much. I wish he missed me. I want to hear his voice once more tonight. That is all. I have not spoken to anyone else all day. Trapped in my room. Have not eaten.

I just had that one hour with him today. It was magical. It helped me a lot. But I am greedy. I want another hour. I want the rest of his hours. I want to spend the rest of this fucked up life with him. I want the comfort of knowing that he is mine and I am his. I miss him so much. I just want to hear his voice to lure me to sleep tonight. The comfort of knowing he is on the phone with me. I miss him so much. I miss him. I want to talk to him.

i cannot talk to him. I don't want to annoy him. I miss him.