TD23 Group chat

🪆when you can't think of a plot, add quotes.🔪

Scarlett: Could you maybe just like... stab me... right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. 'Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation. 

Amy: I'm a multitasker!
Scarlett: You can disappoint fifteen people at once.

MK, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Alex: Gray.
Scarlett: Grey.
MK, turning to Gina: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Gina: Dark white.

*Gina is crying after a breakup*
Alex: There there, Gina.
Gina, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?
Alex: Great question-

MK: I really like Eminem.
Alex: I prefer skittles.
Gina: They are talking about the rapper.
Alex: Why would they eat the wrapper?

Alex: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice being held.
Gina: Are you okay?

MK: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Scarlett, used to MK being dumb: Sure...
MK: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Scarlett: Okay?
MK: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Scarlett:
MK: Lobsters are mermaid scorpions
Scarlett: Jesus, that one is a little-
Alex, interested: No, no, MK, keep going.

Gina: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Alex?
Alex: ...Not really.
Gina: Nothing?
Alex: Tell you one thing I have learnt, Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

Alex: What did you two do?
MK:
Scarlett:
Alex: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Gina: *Slams MK against the wall* WHERE'S MY MONEY? 
MK: *Thinking* Oh fuck, she's hot when she's pissed.  
MK: *Thinking* Oh fuck, I'm turned on...  
MK: You wanna make out? 

Scarlett: You're giving me a sticker?
Alex: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"
Scarlett: I'm not a preschooler.
Alex: Fine, I'll take it back-
Scarlett: fuck off, I earnt this sticker 

MK: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Scarlett: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Gina:  FLOOR IT!!
MK: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Alex: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
MK: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Gina: DO IT!
Alex: NO-

Alex: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

Scarlett: I am working on this whole Good Guy thing, but anyone who cuts me in line at Starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out, okay? 

Alex: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

Teacher: Your child was in a fight. 
Alex: Oh no, that's terrible! 
Scarlett: Did they win? 
Teacher: I- what?
Scarlett: did they win?
Lydia: yes.
Scarlett: you're not in trouble.
Alex: Scar, no
Scarlett: she's been taught to stand up for herself
Alex: not like this!
Teacher: do you two need marriage counselling?
Alex and Scarlett:
Alex: sometimes murder is ok.
Scarlett and Lydia: *high five*

Alex: I bet you're wondering why I gathered you here today. It's because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren't getting along with other people in this room.
Scarlett: Why did you say that so vaguely? Mk and I are literally the only people you called in here.

Alex: Oh shoot!
Alex: Excuse my vulgarity.
Scarlett: I'll let it slide.

Alex with a british accent: In England, we drive on the left side of the road. 
Gina with an American accent: In America, we drive on the right side of the road. 
MK with Russian accent: IN RUSSIA, WE DRIVE WHERE WE WANT! RODE IS FUCKING ROAD!