Unforeseeable

Chapter 27

The park is silent.
I sit on the swing and rock back and forth slowly. The park is older now, more run down then it used to be. There are no kids around, just me around and my thoughts. It's autumn now, orange and red trees shedding their leaves around me. I take in a breath of cold morning air and look around.
This was where Damien told me he still loved me.
Everything was so different then, I was so different. I smile to myself at the memories we used to share. The first time he stayed over at my old flat just down the road, when we came to this park at midnight and spun on the roundbout until it felt like we were flying.
What are you doing here Quinn?
A little voice in the back of my head says. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself and I don't know why I am dwelling on things that can't be fixed.
But you're not sad, are you?
The realisation shocks me. No. I'm not sad. I'm sitting here thinking about the boy I used to love. The boy who once took up my entire world is now dead. I spent so long crying over him, and now I'm sitting in the place where he told me he always loved me and I am not sad. In fact, I'm smiling.
I look up at the swirling colours of the sunrise and I am still smiling. I can think about him now without feeling depressed and angry. I can think about him now and can still let myself be in love with someone else.
Wait, what?
Be in love with someone else.
My mouth opens into an 'o' shape my eyes widen.
I'm in love with Levi.
I stand up from the swing and my legs feel wobbly. When did I fall in love with Levi? I stare into space with my thoughts going wild before I run to my car. I pull open the door and throw myself into the driver seat. Something across the road catches me eye and I see Duane. He stands across the road with his hands in his pockets.
That's not possible. Duane is dead.
I rub my eyes and when I look again he is gone. I slam the accelerator and drive back to the hospital.
•••••
"Quinn." His eyes are happy when he sees me. "The doctors said I can go home tod-" he can't finish the sentence because my lips smother his words. He doesn't kiss me back for a moment, but then his hand moves to the back of my head and he runs his fingers through my hair. I pull away. "What was that for?" He asks with a smile.
"I realised I love you." His smile morphs into shock.
"Really?"
"Levi, I love you." I stare into his eyes trying to find something. Anything.
"I love you." I find truth. I lean my forehead against his and sigh. His hands slide over mine and his fingers slip into the spaces between mine. "Let's go home."
•••••
"Lowell introduced me to Claudia yesterday." I say as I drive back to Levis apartment, his hand on my thigh.
"Really? He doesn't talk about her much unless it's to close family."
"He said since you and I are dating I should know that about him. He loves her a lot. I can tell."
"He loves her more than life. My brother never cared about love until he met Claudia. He came home with bright eyes and told me all about her, he was happier than I had seen him in a long time." It starts to rain and I turn the window wipers on.
"I hope she wakes up soon."
"After their wedding they were going to try for a baby. They were talking about baby names and nursery colours. She will be such a good mother, there is so much love inside of her. You're going to like her."
"Do you think she will like me?"
"Claudia likes everyone." He pauses for a long time. "She doesn't deserve this."
"Nobody deserves this."
"Duane deserves this." The sound of his name shocks me and I abruptly pull the car over. My hands grip the steering wheel tightly, my knuckles turn white. "Oh, Quinn I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
"No. He got what he deserved. He deserved to die."
"I won't let anyone hurt you again. I promise."
"I saw him today."
"What? How?"
"He wasn't really there, but I saw him."
"He wasn't real." There was a part of me that didn't believe him. "Nobody is going to hurt you, Lexi. I won't let them."
I don't tell him that it's not me I am worried about.