Unforeseeable

Chapter 4

My head quickly starts to spin.

"What do you mean a mistake?"

"I'm only nineteen Quinn, and I don't even love her." My breath hitches in my throat.

"Well then w-who do you love?" He turns his head to face me, his dark eyes locking onto mine.

"The girl I foolishly let go." My head spins. That's me. Oh my god that's me. "Quinn, I like you. I really like you. It was stupid of me to ever let you go. I didn't realise what I truly had until it was gone." He takes my hand "I know nothing I can do will possibly make you forgive me for hurting you so much, and then making you watch as I was with Cassandra." He shakes his head "it was disgusting of me. I know now I haven't truly felt anything for her. Nothing like what I felt when I was with you. I won't ever feel that way again, not with another girl. Quinn, I know you feel something for me. Will you forgive me and take me back?"

"What about Cassandra?" I whisper.

"I told her that I couldn't be with her anymore." My heart snapped for my friend. I'm the reason she is probably hurting. I look down at our interlocked hands. It feels so right, but it feels so wrong. "Quinn." I look up at his face. It's scrunched up, worried that I haven't answered him. "Say something."

"She is one of my best friends Damien. I can't-" he interrupts me.

"Don't you feel this?" He squeezes my hand "can't you feel the electric shocks running up your arm at our touch? Can't you feel it?" I feel tears brimming up inbehind my eyes. I slowly shake my head.

"I'm so sorry. I don't. I used to, but not anymore." I lie. I still feel for him, but my friends come first. Thats always how it'll be. He lets go of my hand and stands up from the swing.

"You don't realise how much I care about you Quinn-"

"Yes I do, because I used to feel that for you. So did Cassandra. You crushed both of us Damien. I'm sorry, but I can't do this with you. I can't hurt Cassandra anymore than you already have." I stand up from the swing, placing my hands in my pockets. Damien steps closer to me and touches my face, bringing his mouth to mine before I can take my hands out of my pockets and push him away. For a few seconds I feel complete. Feel like how I used to. Electric sparks jolt all over my skin where he is touching me. He pulls away, holding my face close to his with both hands. I almost whimper.

"Don't tell me you didn't feel that." He whispers. I take my hands out of my pockets and push him away gently.

"I told you already. This is hard enough. Please, I can't do this. Not with you." I feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes. "I hope we can still be friends." He shakes his head.

"No. I'm not as strong as you. I can't watch the person I love carry on with life, and have them not feel the same way about me. It'll crush me. I'm sorry Quinn. I shouldn't have let you go."

"I know." Then I slowly turn, walking back to my house. I feel his eyes on me as I walk away, not leaving me until I am out of sight. As soon as I walk inside of my house, I start to cry.

•••••

I talked to Lexi about Damien and Cassandra. I told her what happened at the smoothie bar to what happened at the park. She told me she had Duane over, I acted surprised not telling her what happened between us in the kitchen. She said he might be coming over again tonight. And he did exactly that. I'm lying in my bed now staring at the ceiling, just like last night. I can hear pleased moans and cries coming from the room next to mine. I sigh and roll over, grabbing my trusty earphones. I turn the music up until I can't hear them anymore. Then somehow, I manage to fall back asleep.

•••••

Cassandra cries into my shoulder, making my shirt fabric wet.

"I- I can't believe he left me." She sobs. Her voice wavers and she sounds helpless. "He tol-told me that he loved me."

"I know, it's okay. Everything will be okay." I comfort. I've never been particularly good at comforting people. She doesn't seem to mind though, I think she is just happy that someone is there for her.

"Why would he pro-propose if he was just going t-to break up with me?"

"I don't know honey, he is stupid for letting you go." She cries even more.

"He sa-said there was someone else! He co-could have been cheating on me this whole time." Guilt flooded into my blood.

"You don't know that."

"Why else would he leave me? She is probably prettier than me. Richer than me. Funner than me. He would have to have known her for a lo-long time to know that she was worth leaving his fiance for. I should have gone out with that doctor instead." I laughed lightly.

"I saw him the other day. He is happily going out with his boyfriend."

"Dammit!" She started to laugh, wiping her eyes. "I thought he was too well dressed to be straight." Now that she had cheered up a bit I decided to ask her something I had needed to ask her for ages.

"Wanna go get drunk?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way."