Scar wars (Larry fanfic)

Harry

I take a look at the other patients and it's suddenly 10am. I go into my office and my coffee and my breakfast is on my desk. Pancakes. He doesn't even have pancakes on the menu, where did they come from? I take a bite and they are so good and delicious, my mouth is full of gold. 

I miss my man

I sigh, enjoying my breakfast. I finish it faster than I ever did because it is so good and the thought that my man brought it, makes it even better. When I wanted to get my phone a nurse enters rushed. "Z-Zayn Malik is having a crisis, he's aggressive." 

I leave the room running towards Gangster and I enter his room hearing him shouting. He sees me and stops "H-Harry.. you left me." He says sobbing "T-the bad men-It hurts" 

I check his surgery and he surely opened his stitches but I run at him and hug him to my chest. "Shhh I haven't left you, darling, I was just eating my breakfast you're safe." He grabs my coat holding it tight and I rub my hand on his back comforting him. "You don't have to be scared while you're in here. No bad men can enter. I promise." I say comforting him and he looks at me with his sobbing eyes "I thought you left me." He says and I smile. "We won't leave you."

I look at him and he's like a child in a man's body. He's so scared and helpless. I break the hug and wipe his tears off. "I need to check on your surgery, will you let me?" I ask and he nods.

After I handle his stitches I look at him smiling "Are you feeling better now? I gave you a painkiller." I speak and he looks at me "Li? Where is Li?" He asks and I smile "He's working across the road with Louis." I explain and he smiles.

"Can you stay with me? Please don't leave me alone." He begs and I sit on the chair. "You will be able to have kids, right? You have two marks." He says and I nod smiling "Yeah. I will." 

He smiles softly "you'll be such a great dad." He says and I pout softly "Thank you, darling." 

He tilts his head and looks at me "Do you love Louis?" He asks and I smile softly only thinking of him."I do love him really much" I say and he smiles widely. "That's cute" He says and I can feel my cheeks burning again and then a wave of sadness hits me. 

I need him so much. 

I want to cuddle with him and to kiss him and everything. 

I check my phone. 15th December. Too cold to stay away from him. I sigh and look at my patient "you're sad" He says and I smile "I'm not. I'm very happy." 

He tilts his head and frowns "No you're sad… what is happening?" He says and I giggle "Nothing Gangster. I'm very good. How are you feeling?" I say trying to move the attention from me to him and he sighs. "I don't know how I'm feeling…" He says and I tilt my head.

"What do you mean?" I ask softly and he shrugs. "I think I just need to cuddle with Li." He says and I pout "You like that?" I ask and he nods "Mhm… we've been cuddling a lot… when I wasn't angry." He confesses and I look at him frowning slightly "Angry on what?" 

"On this." He says shortly but I wait for him to continue "I know I'm sick and the real me isn't 19… because I've been 19 in the last three years. The real human is trapped with me inside of him… and I keep reliving the same memories over and over again… sometimes it is really frustrating. I know I can't kill myself because I won't actually kill me, I'll kill him. And it's a shitty thing to do… and I have no idea how I got here. Because I don't remember shooting myself." 

He finishes and he looks like he's lost somewhere, he blinks and Zayn is here. He smiles softly and frowns at the same time "Hi?" He says and I smile "Hi Zayn how are you?".