I love you.

Chapter 6

Destiny's POV

I came home from the hospital later that day, I was napping when I woke up and seen a note. Oh no, it was from Josh. Did.. Did he leave me? This is NOT a way to say goodbye! I don't accept it. Yeah, he loves me back, and i'm so happy to hear that, but why? Why would he think leaving would solve anything? We could work it out.. Unless Ashley is still in the picture. The note had some tear drops on it. He was crying over me? He never cries.. He was always strong, did I hurt him? All these thoughts kept racing threw my head.

If you didn't kiss him like a retard, he wouldn't of left..

How was I supposed to know that?

Common sense! You're so retarded.

I began to get horrible thoughts, what if I never see him again, what if he actually doesn't even love me, what if -

I stopped thinking about it. There was only one solution.. I had to find him. 

I had to spend every second looking for him, I can't let him go.. I fought too hard for him, to go away for ever. I loved him so much, and I never appreciated him as much right now. I wanted to hold him, and cry on his shoulder and apologize for being such a cold hearted person, for being so selfish. I screwed up everything, I'm such a failure.. I failed him. I can't live with myself, I can't live without my best friend in my life, I need him. He's the one that stopped me from doing such stupid things.

I packed a bag, food, water, clothes, and more things that I can use in my everyday life. I began to run out of my house, leaving my mother a note. I told her exactly whats been going on, and that I was going to call her when I found a hotel, or motel.. somewhere to sleep. 

I cried, my left over eyeliner and mascara being ruined, and making me look like a crying panda. I wasn't going to give him up. Never, he was mine. I ran and ran, until I was out of breathe. I took out my phone, and I called him. He never said he wouldn't talk to me, he can't do that to me. I won't allow that to happen. *Ring Ring Ring .....* "Hello?" He said. His voice, his beautiful charming voice. I loved it, just like every part about him. "Hey.." I said tearing up. "Omg.. Destiny" He says tearing up. "I need to know where you are. Now!' I said full on crying. "Dest-" I cut him off. "NO! Do NOT give me that 'its the best for us' crap! You can't leave me, I need you. I'm so sorry for screwing up everything, but please." I  said choking on my tears. "I need to leave, you- you have to understand that I love you too much to hurt you.." He said. " What are you doing right now? huh? HURTING ME. Josh.. you've never hurt me more. I don't know what made you think that leaving would make me go 'Ohhh, my best friend, my love of my life.. he's gone, forever.. what a GREAT surprise!" I said trying to breathe from my anxiety and tears choking me up. "I- I'm sorry" he said sniffling. "Its not gonna cut it this time Joshua. Come back, or let me join you.. I left my house, I'm on the streets, and that's where I'm gonna stay until you come back." I said wiping my tears.

"No, I'm going to call your mother and shes gonna take care of you. Do NOT waste your life on me Dest, I love you." he said hanging up on me. I began to cry, and cry until the tears couldn't come out anymore. I've cried my tears out. My anxiety turned to depression. I didn't want to continue to live. I ran up a eight story building's stairs. I made it to the roof, I standed on the edge. I wasn't scared, it felt right.. like it was meant to be. I stand there for what seems like hours. I call Josh, "Josh, this is goodbye.. forever. You'll never see me again, or hear from me. I'm so sorry, I love you so much, I've always loved you. I always wanted you. To grow old, have kids, buy a house.. but I never had a shot of it, and I lived in my own fantasy. Tell my mother I love her." I could hear him crying and starting to get scared. 

"WHERE ARE YOU?!" he said worried. "It doesn't matter anymore Joshy." I paused "My life has to end, and yours deserves to continue." I said hanging up. I can't let him get to me, life is a hell. I kept standing there. *sirens* It was the police, did Josh call them? Dammit Joshua. The cop car pulled in, I kept looking down at them, I stuck the middle finger at the police, he had a megaphone. "Come down m'am, Come down peacefully, you don't have to do this." He said calling for back up. Josh came out of one of the five cars. I nearly jumped of excitement. "JOSHY. JOSHY." I cried. "Come down! Don't do this Destybear! I love you, remember that. Always and forever!" He said making a hopeful face. "I can't... I need to do this. I love you." I said putting one foot out. I began to put my other foot out, and then I realized I did it. "NOOOOO!" I heard as I was falling. Josh ran to where I was falling, trying to catch me. The police officers helped to try to catch me, one of the cops got a bouncy thing that would make me survive if I fell on it. I fell on the pad. "NO!" I cried. "I'm NOT supposed to live! I can't live with myself!" I cried. Josh kissed me, and I felt a lot better. I felt safe, loved. "Shhh" he said putting his finger on my lips. The ambulance came and took me to the hospital. I was fine, really.. but Josh would not leave me out of his sight.