I love you.

Chapter 24

I didn't know how to get over the way I felt. I wanted to just go in a corner and cry until I couldn't anymore. I decided to call the job I declined for Joshua, I don't know what I was thinking. "Hello?" I asked. "Hello Destiny, the boss is happy to see you call, hold on a second please." the woman said. "I would like the job back, I was going threw something with my boyfriend, but now I am ready to have a commitment to this job." I said as soon as I heard the phone get off hold. "Well, Destiny.. I was going to call you today to make sure you were completely sure of your decision. I am very pleased to hear that you've changed your mind." He said.

"Can you start on Monday?" He asked. "Sure sir. I will get on the plane as soon as possible." I said. I hung up, and started packing my stuff. In my head, all I could think about was how much I was giving up. I didn't even need the money, and the sad part is, I just needed a excuse to leave Joshua. I was assuming that this was the end between our relationship. Jamie said she will watch the house for me. I was leaving before Joshua came back from work. I left him a note, and got a flash back. When he had those tears on that paper, and the pain I felt. I just wrote how I felt, and where I was going. So, he will know where I am, and doesn't have to look for me.

I packed some snacks, for the ride to the airport. Jamie drove me to the airport, and we both started crying. "I love you," she said. "I love you more" I said. We hugged, and when I walked into the airport, I looked back, to only see her upset. I was hurting Jamie too. I didn't want to hurt them, but I needed to do something for myself for once, and it got to the point where I needed to get out of my current situation. It felt like no one cared. I just had one of those days where you just feel depressed and think about everything you've been through. Joshua was the one to make me forget and try to fix it for me, but now, he was the only reason I hated myself right now. Yeah, there are a lot more reasons, but he was the main one. I know he didn't do "anything" physically wrong, like there was no cheating, or anything like that. It just hurt. So badly. Why can't I just have a normal life and relationship? Why must  I be in love with my best friend, and the most dramatic person I know besides myself. Why must I have to deal with this? No, I am not getting all suicidal. I just never thought about everything.

(After a few months)

Eventually, I answered all the texts and calls. I went back to Joshua, and everything felt different. "Joshua, I have to talk to you-" before I could even end my sentence, he grabbed me so tightly and hugged me. He cried on my shoulder and he just made me feel horrible. I didn't give in. I wasn't going back to the way I felt before I left. "I love you so much Destybear. Everything we've been through. I am just so sorry." He said. "Im glad you've realized that by now. It took months Joshua." I said looking at him with his tears. Normally, I would wipe his tears and kiss him, those soft lips. But no. I won't. I won't cuddle next to him and cry on his shoulder. "I love you so much too, you don't even understand Joshypoo. I need you, so badly. I can't see you like this, cause it reminds me of how I feel. I've been pushing those feelings away, and I got stronger, but you just have this effect over me." Is what I wanted to say. "Im sorry, Joshua.. its over. This time, I am just done. I didn't want to text you this, or call you. I love you, yeah. I won't deny that. You will always be there, in my head, and in my heart. I can't handle this anymore. Im over it. I love you, so much Josh. I have to do what is right for me." I said. His mouth dropped. He choked on his tears and kissed me. I pulled back. "No. I'm serious Josh." He gave me a look. "Y-yo-your'e serious? You can't! No Destiny, I love you so much... don't do this." I wiped his tears and actually kissed and hugged him. 

For the last time. I had to leave after that, cause if I didn't, I would seriously break down crying and give in to his arms. I drove to my house, to see Jamie. I was crying the whole ride. The road eventually got all blurry, and last thing I know, everything got black. "The patient is named Destiny Stars, she got into a car accident, she has a broken rib cage and some bruising. There is a bunch of people in the waiting room, waiting to see her" The nurse said to the doctor. "Let them in." The doctor said. 

I open my eyes to see my family, and then a couple of friends, and then.. in the door way, crying his eyes out and saying "Oh god why, oh god why" was Joshua. His beautiful face. His bad boy style, and his hazel eyes pouring out tears. Everyone was crying and praying. I turn around, only to see myself in the hospital bed. What?! I want to wake up! Let me wake up! Why can't I wake up? Is it not my decision? Or do I have to explore first? I look around. I was in a white dress, my hair down and two parts of my front hair braided and pinned back, my light hazel eyes and light skin, so pure. I take a step, but I couldn't feel it. I went to Joshua. I kissed him, and felt it. His eyes opened and looked directly at me. "Joshua?" I whispered. He looked away, back at my body, trying to wipe his non stoping tears. My parents, everyone just so depressed. Was I that important? Why did I break up with the love of my life? 

I start walking out of my hospital room, and I see the doctor and nurse. "The story of her accident is, she was crying and her vision must of been blurry, and she turned right into a truck. The driver is perfectly fine, but her car is done for, and she might not make it." The nurse said to the doctor. "We have to do everything it takes to make this girl live." The doctor said. I kept walking, and seen a big white light. No. I'm not ready. I went back to my hospital room, and Joshua was holding my hand, and he kissed my forehead. Oh boy, this boy has this powerful effect on me. I can't explain it. I all of a sudden see black again.

I open my eyes. Everyone smiles and goes over to me. Joshua stops crying and looks at me. "Dest. You're alive." He said kissing me. I smile and kiss him back. Maybe that was a sign. "Sweetie!" My parents said hugging me and thanking god. I go to sit up, but I can't. I squeal. "Owww!" I cry. "No Destybear, you have a broken rib cage." He says fixing my hair. "I called your job.. you're not going back there, You're staying with me." Joshua said smiling. 

(The day I get released)

I got into a new outfit Joshua bought me, and I thought I looked awful. "Hey beautiful" Joshua said. He kissed me on my lips. "You need glasses!" I chuckled. We both laughed. "I'm driving you home." He said picking me up. He carried my to the front desk, signed some papers, and before we could leave, the woman says "You two are a great couple." Me and Josh smile at each other and thank her. He puts me in his car, and we go to our house. I go into the bed, and Joshua makes me lunch. I eat, and then cuddle with Joshua.