I love you.

Chapter 13

Joshua P.O.V

I tried to call and text Destiny, but she wouldn't answer. She really meant a lot to me, and losing her over college seemed like such a stupid reason for our relationship to end. I know she's hurting right now, I can feel it. I want to be there to hug and kiss her. I want to go to the store, buy junk food and cuddle while watching Netflix. I wanted her to be in my arms right now, and I never really cherished her enough to realized, she changed my life.

I never understood, that if we ever broke up, I wouldn't have the courage to go out, or eat, sleep. She's on my mind 24/7. And I want her to call or text me back so bad. I never thought she would be such a huge impact on my life, and she made me look at the world so much differently. This was one of the things I can see her having depression over, and if she's trying to forget about me, I shouldn't text her, because she'll just be reminded of me. 

I kept my Instagram the exact same way, as before we "broke up". I can't tell if this is a break, or an actual break up. I need her so bad right now. Im hurting like theres not going to be a tomorrow. Like, my life isn't ever going to be the same. My feelings are so impacted, but it feels like the only feeling that was enhanced was my sadness. I wanted her to be next to me, to hear her gorgeous laugh, and see her amazing eyes, face, and smile. I didn't want anything else in life, all I wanted was to be even a foot away from her. I didn't even want that anymore. I needed it. 

It didn't feel like I was ever going to move on, or change my feelings. Cause all I can think about is her. I won't go to college if it comes to us ending. I realized that, I never felt this way about anyone, ever. I never wanted to feel this way about anyone either, besides Destiny. I want to grow old with her, and have kids, and make their lives so much better then Destiny and I's. I'd work all night, so I could spend the day with them, make them breakfast, and make them happy. I would also make coffee in the kitchen, with some breakfast for Destiny. I want to marry her. 

Her Instagram page was the exact same. I liked my sisters picture on Instagram, and tried to push my depression and sadness away. It wasn't working, not matter what I did. I loved her, and I wasn't going to give up on her.