I love you.

Chapter 19

I wanted to wait to have kids, and took it as a sign that I wasn't ready, and that I should be grateful I didn't have it. Joshua wants to be a father, which is amazing, because I can see him as a great father figure. I can see him teaching them right from wrong, and showing them things I wouldn't be able to show, or explain. 

I wanted to go to the bedroom and sleep all day, I was so exhausted, and just wanted to be left alone. It was super hot outside, so I turned on the air conditioning and hoped I wouldn't get my anxiety. Joshua came in, and started to cuddle me under the blankets. "No." I said turning on my side. "What, I just want to make you happy." He said trying to cuddle me again. "I am in a bad mood from the heat!" I said trying to relax. "Okay, whatever you want." He said. He got up from the Temper-Pedict bed. I was trying to get rid of my anxiety, even though nothing was bothering me. 

I heard him cleaning the house, like the dishes, the rug, the wooden floors, and anything that wasn't cleaned properly. He wanted to make me as happy as I can be. I loved him, and I know I always say it, but I feel like I can never let him go. Ever. He was literally my soulmate. He was the only one I ever wanted to do anything with. I loved him for everything that was a part of him. He loved me just as much. I couldn't stand being mad at him. I started to think about everything again that has happened with the past and the future. What has happened, and what could happen.

The simplest thing can change our life forever. I wanted to go to California for the job, and yeah, that was still in my mind. I wasn't going to forget about it just because its Joshua we're talking about. I can't leave him, and I don't want him to move just for me, even if he should. I want him to be happy, his happiness is mine, and mine is his. We shared everything. We were best friends for our whole life, and I always felt this certain way around him that I could never explain, or figure out. I never thought about it. Never paid any mind to it. Who knew it would become such a indent into my life, and his. 

He was always there for me, I could cry on his shoulder at any point, and still be the strongest person he knows. I got off the bed, and went to him. I hugged him, and he must've thought I was bipolar. "I love you." I said kissing him. "I love you more." He said holding my hips. The "I love you most." Is only when he is the first one to say that he loved me. "Thank you for everything, I don't want to start something stupid." I said looking up to his amazing face. "Okay babe, anything for you." He said smiling.  I went to go change into skinny jeans, a short sleeved light green shirt, and some light green flats. I got my sunglasses, and my purse. I put everything I would need into the purse. For my hair, I put my hair in a messy bun. I went to get my hair dyed, but stopped in StarBucks before.

I got my hair done ombre. I went to go get my nails done. I got mint green for my fingernails, and toenails. After I was done getting things I wanted and needed, I got into my new black Ferrari and drove home. I picked up dinner for the two of us, instead of Joshua cooking tonight. I got Chinese food, Lo Mein, with some dumplings. I wanted us to have a really fun and simple night, and just forget about anything bothering us that night, and just have a quiet, peaceful movie night. I drove into the drive way, and parked the car. I took out the bags, and brought them into the house.

Joshua came out of the house and brought everything into the kitchen. He put everything away for me, so I can get undressed into pajamas and relax. He put the food onto plates, and made the table. I went into the bedroom and changed into something comfortable. When I walking into the kitchen, everything was perfect. I sat down, and we both ate the delicious food. After we ate, he cleaned the dishes while I looked for a movie to watch on Netflix. When he was done, we cuddled in our bed and fell asleep watching a comedy movie.