I love you.

Chapter 21

My decision was final. I was going to be with Joshua. I didn't want him to move just for me, especially since I just re decorated and added my stuff inside the house. I wanted to let him know, that I would make sacrifices for him, no matter how much it hurt me. And he should do the same. I feel bad I ever had to think about it, but I really wanted to work at that job for years, and the boss was very kind and even was begging me to work there. I guess he wanted me to work there for my repatriation, so the company would get more famous. I wanted to be my own person, and I will be.

Joshua went into the shower, and I got into my car and drove around to complete some things I had to get done. When I got home, I gave Peter some food, and cuddled with him a little bit before I had to put him back in his cage to eat. Peter has his own like room, because its a mansion, we have extra rooms and space. I loved him so so much, he was like a un talkative friend. I went to go put Peter Cottontail into his cage. After that, I went to go to the mall and buy some more tom-boyish clothing. I always have had those mixed up sides. I also bought more jewelry, wow. That shows how confusing I actually am. When I got home, more people were texting me about a party going on tonight. I wanted to stay home, and spend time with Joshua, but at the same time, I wanted to socialize with my friends and have fun before its to late.

I invited Joshua, but he said he wanted to stay home and usually I would go with out him, but it just felt wrong. And I already gave up my job for him, so I wanted to go to this party, and have fun with my friends. I got all dressed up, and went out. I didn't get home until like 2:00 am. It was late, but Joshua waited up for me. Not in a creepy way, but to make sure I wasn't drunk, and to make me go straight to bed. I wasn't drunk, because I didn't want to be one of those girls.

I went to bed early, and just slept. I stood in bed all day. I wanted to just sleep literally all day. I wasn't hungry, or upset, or even moody. I just wanted sleep. I seen I had my period, so I was not in the mood to get up at all. And no, you don't go swimming or run around, or do activities while you're on your period, its nothing like those tampon and pads commercials. You crave chocolate all day and want to be alone. At least thats how I feel.

I started craving chocolate, so I asked Joshua to buy me double fudge brownie and chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream. I was craving it so bad. I just wanted to eat a whole suitcase full of it. I was so lazy and tired. That was the worst night I could of went to a party, the day before my period. Joshua came back from the supermarket, and I seen he bought a whole bunch of snacks. He knew me by now, I would keep asking him to go back and forth to the store, so now he just buys it in one whole trip. He knew I wanted to be left alone, so he took a nap inside the spear room, with another king sized bed.

I was waiting for netflix to load, but the power went out. I was so cranky. "Joshua! Joshua! JOSHUA!" I called out his name. "Yeah?" He asked. "The power went out babe" I said finishing the ice-cream. "Okay, i'll go fix it." He said. By the time he fixed it, I fell asleep. I loved sleep. I loved the feeling of when you're in a really deep sleep and you wake up all energized. But, that rarely happens, so I didn't keep my hopes up that, that was going to happen.