I Can't Feel Anymore (Komahina Fanfic)

Chapter 28

Nagito again bc I said so.

Also- time skip bc it was so fucking tiring doing the first class trial and I dont wanna go through that pain again TvT

So basically it's after the investigation and RIGHT before Mikans execution <333

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nagito P.O.V.

"Huh? You don't understand?" Mikan asked me with a crazed look in her eyes. They were swirling in despair. It was almost too hard to believe. One of the Ultimates... The very symbols of hope that are supposed to shine above all the rest... She had fallen to despair.

"Maybe... Ah, I see... It's because you don't have anyone to love, do you? And no one loves you back." Right through my chest. The words stabbed my heart, piercing it with the words she had so easily said to me.

No one to love..? I mean, sure, I don't even deserve to have feelings towards Hinata-Kun... But... I know I love him. That's probably why it hurt so much...

Even though I knew the reason was because of her second remark, and because I knew it was true. But even if I knew that... There's no way I could think about any of it. I needed to focus on this-

"I'll take your silence as a yes." She said, and then sighed. She continued on, talking about her beloved, how she could finally see them, and so on and so forth.

After a few minutes passed, Hajime was able to get a decent amount of details out of her, considering she remembered everything now. I knew they were all important details, but I couldn't help but think about what she had said to me earlier on, completely ignoring Mikan's words and even Hajime's frustrated shouts.

Is it... Because you have no one to love?

* * *

It was now around noon, considering the class trial took place rather early in the morning. Of course, as always, I didn't have much to do. No one wanted to hang out with me, which isn't at all surprising, and there was no way I was going to be able to take a nap. Especially not after what Mikan had said to me...

In the end, I decided to go to the library on the second island. It was my usual go-to when I was bored. Books are always a nice getaway from reality.

When I arrived there, I searched the shelves and looked at different bindings of books. My head was tilted to the side so I could read the titles more clearly.

After a bit of searching, I came across two books that seemed interesting. One was called "How it Feels to Float" by Helena Fox, and the other was "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul I". I decided to get both of them, since the chicken soup books are always quick reads.

I sat down on a chair in the library and began to read How it Feels to Float. I came to realize that the chapters were very short, and that the author used words in a special way when describing sounds, often the beat of the main character heart. They would write it as "my heart beatbeats beatbeatbeats skipsabeatbeatbeat beatbeatbeat." I already was enjoying the writing style.

Apparently the book was about a girl named Biz (short for Elizabeth) who keeps seeing her dad, even after he's dead. She doesn't tell anyone about it, though. Soon, something big happens to her, and she isn't able to see her dad anymore. The rope that holds and ties everything in place inside her comes undone, and she has to figure out if she should hold on, or if she should just float away, forgetting about everything in her life.

I'm honestly expecting a happy ending. Not a lot of books have bad ones, unless they're cliffhangers to other books. But even then, it's still rather rare. The type of endings where there isn't anything happy, and both the main character and the reader are both sad and unsatisfied... Those are my favorites.

I spent most of the day reading in the library. I got through about half the book in a few hours, and felt strangely accomplished.

I ended up making my way back to my cottage, a few minutes before the Monokuma Announcement was about to go off.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry these are getting short again TvT

My motivation said bye a couple hours ago but whatever imma keep writing <333