Ascend from madness(KDA X male reader)

Longevity

(Y/N)'s P.O.V

Kai'sa :"(Y/N) is that a hospital bed."

(Y/N)   :"Yeah...but don't worry I'm OK."

Kai'sa :"What do you mean don't worry. What happened?."

Ahri    :"Weeeeee."

Kai'sa :*growl*"AHRI WILL YOU STOP JUMPING ON THE BED I'M HAVING A SERIOUS CONVERSATION HERE.'

I am currently on a video call with Kai'sa who looks a bit worried since I didn't call last night to check on her. She's sitting infront of a computer while I'm using my phone.

(Y/N)  :*sigh*"I ran into Trent at the club yesterday and one of his friends stabbed me in the back with a knif-...Why are you looking at me like that."

Kai'sa :*stern look*"You went to a club?."

Ahri    :"Weeeeee. I'm a chopper."

Kai'sa :"AHRI THIS IS YOUR LAST FUCKING WARNING.STOP JUMPING ON THE BED OR I'M TAKING OFF MY BELT AND FLOGGING YOU WITH IT."

(Y/N)   :"Uhm..yeah I was trying to cheer Yasuo up since he kinda had a falling out with his crush."

Kai'sa :"And you didn't do anything dubious at said club?."

(Y/N)   :"Of coarse not. I'm not into that stuff. I'm curious though. What is up with Ahri?."

Kai'sa :"She's high."

(Y/N)   :"She's what?."

Kai'sa :"Pot is legal here and Ahri wanted to give it a try just once to celebrate a successful business deal."

(Y/N)   :"How much did she have?."

Kai'sa :"A lot. Turns out her keen senses amplify its effect. She can easily dispel it and return to her senses but she's choosing not to."

Ahri   :"Weeeee. Do you know the muffin man,the muffin man,the muffin man.Do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury lane."

Kai'sa :"Ahri I'm seriously going to flog you if you continue behaving live a brat."

Ahri    :"Suck it grand ma."

Kai'sa :"THAT'S IT."

Kai'sa disappears from the screen and I can hear her taking off her belt.'She wouldn't.'

'She definitely would.'

I start hearing some flogging noises in the background and widen my eyes.

Kai'sa :"I TOLD YOU I'M ON IMPORTANT FUCKING CALL YOU STUPID BRAT."

Ahri    :"Ow.Hey stop that.Ouch.That hurts.Waaaaaah."

Kai'sa :"Now sit tight or go to bed or something."

Kai'sa returns while I hear Ahri crying like a child in the background and I widen my eyes.

(Y/N)   :"Did you just?"

Kai'sa :*sigh*"I did warn her."

(Y/N)   :"That's child abuse."

Kai'sa :"Oh please. My foster parents back in Shurima used to beat the crap out of me and my step siblings whenever we fell out of line and as you can see I grew up just fine."

(Y/N)  :"Well we live in an era of democracy so beating up a child is not cool."

Kai'sa :"Then democracy ruined human society. No wonder kids today grow up to be rebels."