Incorrect quotes

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I'm working on two chapters right now but I thought it's been a while since I did this so here's some incorrect quotes to keep you entertained while I work. 

Started Thursday, sep. 14

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Ant: Is something burning?
Velvet: Just my love for you.
Ant: hon, the toaster is on fire.

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Wilbur: What's up guys? I'm back.
Tommy: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.
Wilbur: Death is a social construct.

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Dream: Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

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IronMouse: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Techno: Not if they consent to it.
Dream: Depends who you're stabbing.
Bad: YES?!?

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Pomme: What does 'take out' mean?
Ramon: Food.
Tullulha: Dating
Leo: Murder
Dapper: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

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Baghera: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Cellbit: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Baghera: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Cellbit, learn to listen.
Bad: What if it bites itself and I die?
Foolish: That's voodoo.
Forever: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Cellbit: That's correlation, not causation.
Max: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Foolish: That's kinky.
Baghera: Oh my God.

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Cellbit: roier and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Iron: *Sighing* What did roier do?
Cellbit: he chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
roier: Who wants a steering wheel?

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*pac and forever sitting in jail together*
Forever: So who should we call?
Pac: I'd call cucurucho, but I feel safer in jail

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George: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Sapnap: *turning to dream* How tall are you?

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Phil: techno! My face is on fire!
Techno: Philza! Are you ok?!
Phil: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Techno: But your face is on fire.
Phil: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

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Techno, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Sapnap: Hey.
Dream: Hi.
Eret: Hello.
George: Hey!
Techno: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Fundy: We were out of Doritos.

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Tina: Why are your tongues purple?
Niki: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Hanna: I had a red one.
Tina: oh
Tina:
Tina: OH
IronMouse:
IronMouse: You drank each other's slushies?

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I know this isn't smp related but it's true and funny to me

My wife: BITCH
Me: I an't no one's bitch
My wife: You my bitch, bitch

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Hanna: You know those things will kill you, right?
Jschlatt, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
Wilbur, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
Callahan: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

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Dapper: Can I be frank with you guys?
Chayanne: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.
Trump: Can I still be trump?
Tilin: Shh, let Frank speak.

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Slime: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Jschlatt: Plane tickets?
Quackity: Concert tickets?
Elmariana: Prostitution?
Slime, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

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Dapper: Everyone, synchronize your watches.
Leo: I don't know how to do that.
Richarlyson: I don't wear a watch.
Tullulha: Time is a construct.

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Bad: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

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Forever: I just ended a four year relationship.
Cellbit: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Forever: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.
*skeppy and bad fighting from across the room*

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Cucurucho: *Gently taps table*
Bad: *Taps back*
Max: What are they doing?
Cellbit: Morse code.
Cucurucho: *Aggressively taps table*
Bad: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

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Finished Thursday, Sep. 14 

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